abt men... ( 〃．．)

...

 I need to let this out somewhere ok, I cant just be bottled up forever.  

this is abt... guys, specifically hot guys, that I keep seeing on my Pinterest,  and (don't get it twisted), they are both animated, drawn and in real life people, I'm seeing all of them, not just one genre.

I, need some one who looks the way I wanna look like, does anyone get that? I don't know how straight men want a dainty little 4'2 woman so they can tower over her just to say, " wanna see how big my hands are?" ಠ_ಠ Fuck off with that shit, its lame, its so much better when relationships are equal.

Something I wish would happen to me all the time, and replays in my head,  (I know it won't happen cause it's mildly rough) (๑ ￫ܫ￩)

is just the close up image of two men (preferably one of them is me) noses touching, and I mean in real close quarter, with one of them soft choking the other, ( it really switches in my brain which one does the choking)   ( '}{' )

 but there both close, a little too close, And they're both enjoying it a little too much, Being with each other, with an equal amount of strength, of power. shit like that is, kinda..... really fucking hot in my opinion. Like, gawdamn (º﹃º), but that's what I mean when I say I like equal relationships, its soo fkn hot when they both have have the same amount of strength, so you don't have to worry about hurting the other person or if its uncomfortable cause they're strong enough to stop or keep going or whatever they want,jsurtwhateveryknow, yknow? yknow? I feel like I'm the only one who is like this, but I know I'm not.  but just maybe, I'm the only person who feel like this specifically about men, cause like people always like power dynamics that are like "one is bigger than another", right?

guys who are usually my type have,, 

really big shoulders and huge tits, god yea, those ig

(‿!‿) ԅ(〃ー〃ԅ)

BUT IMPORTANT, I don't like skinny or ripped per say, they always have some belly, and a nice long happy trail, anddd.... somee bodychest hairr, and soft hands andd uu umm a uh a funny personality?(*ﾟｪﾟ*)....

usually all of that fall under category of black queer men, like dread heads or afro guys? but uuuuh I don't wanna fall into that trap, so I'm just gonna pretend I don't see the pattern.

I'm just gonna describe how I wanna feel like one day. ( 〃▽〃)

just. resting on their chest, feeling them breath, watching their chest moving up and down. you look into their eyes and stare like you could keep staring for years. your eyes reach down to their neck, then their broad shoulders and huge girthy arms, then you see their giant chest. you touch their chest just to see how soft their skin is, then you trail down to their stomach and kiss all the way down. I Want That. I want Big shoulders and huge arms to flex and a giant chest, idk it just feels like a blood rush, euphoric. Like if ambrosia was being pumped into me, and every time I felt stronger. I seems so cringe writing it out loud (I'm gonna vomit editing this) but I'm telling the truth. It might just be me wanting a power trip or smth like that, but I wish I could share feelings for someone like that.

(ノ﹏ヽ) ...

some examples of certain people that fit this category. . .

unfortunately the Madness Combat fanbase has some pretty goodGAY artist, and both Sanford and Deimos fall into this category if you find the right artists. GOD FUCK i've had thoughts abt Deimos and Sanford ever since I found this one artist who just wont quit. love you (⸝⸝´﹃`⸝⸝)

Many cowboys fall into this category (I've always loved Brokeback mountain)

Army men, not elaborating on this (bonus points for charm or long hair)

(I'm not gonna say anything abt the Trolls fandom in this, that's scary)

I think the reason I like all of these men is that they can all kill me pretty easily. I should've started this off with saying I'm a masochist ( I don't think its hard to see if you know me in person, I'm not trying to purposefully hide it either)

( 〃．．) 

I think the prime point is that I want a man who can beat the living shit out of me, and I wanna be able to beat the living shit out of him,

[SIDE NOTE] sorta like a Josuke Okuyasu relationship, y'know like those fanon ships of them (cute). (^^;)

but yea, I needed to come out to somewhere, I ain't keep this super duper dark secret forever.