efforts not reciprocated, being kind is hard

dear virtual diary, 

call me selfish if you want but ive noticed that most every time i try my hardest to be the best person i can to others, it is never shown back to me. and i dont believe that kindness should be used to gain materially - more so what i am talking about is doing something nice for someone out of the pure kindness of your heart, then when you look back on how they are treating you in the friendship or relationship you realize the person has not really done much to match that energy.. which leaves you feeling unworthy of it. in my opinion, the least we can do for others is be kind to them ! so when certain gestures - even compliments are not reciprocated it becomes easy to wonder if you are worthy of the affection you give all others. 

when i think about the people i have cared about in the past, i have gone out of my way to do nice things without really making it known .. such as knowing they are struggling and helping them emotionally, financially, and being a rock for them to have support. but when i have been in similar situations and ask for help in the same ways i have shown them (p.s. I NEVER ask for financial help(asking for money from ppl) strictly talking emotional help here).. they question why i am asking, say no, ignore me, or make up some excuse as to why they cannot or do not want to - or dont think it will be beneficial. no effort is put into caring for me, and it just makes me feel like i am unworthy of being treated equally. i understand that it can be a lot to ask for, but sometimes i really wish i just had a clone of myself who would genuinely listen to me and care for me the way i support others. being a stepping stone has taken a big toll on my mental health. im aware perhaps the way i approach friendships is wrong too, but i dont know why being kind is a negative. i would give anything to have someone like me as a friend - i think that is why i go above and beyond for absolutely everyone i meet.