random vent

How do I know if I’m going crazy without a therapist? I’ve never spoken to one before, and I don’t think I ever will considering my parents. Idk. I don’t want to start talking like Nova and say my mental health is kinda shit, but it is. The sewing stuff is getting out of hand, it’s hard to tell what’s real and what’s not. I can’t handle loud noises anymore, like literally cannot handle them anymore. Everything keeps getting to my head. It’s getting harder to romanticize it all. Parents are out of control and at each others throats all the time, so they don’t really know what’s going on. I cry out of nowhere, or for the smallest things. I miss my dog too, I literally have no idea where she is. I was told she’s with my uncle, but when we visited him he had no idea what I was talking about. Everything just hurts, and I just can’t stand it anymore. Nobody is listening, nobody is paying attention. I know God is in control of everything, but since he is- why is the same shit from seven years ago still going on today. I mean, at least I’m still alive, healthy, not in a crazy house. But if my doctor sees my scars, will they want to send me away to a mental hospital? They’re taking forever to heal, and I don’t think they’ll be healed up for my doctors appointment…