God mental state be worse now

I just feel like dying i just like want to be a ghost going around enjoying without consequences i dont think no one will care if i die.Like im literally stressed so bad that i cant even work on my projects.I wish i just had friends.I wish i was surrounded by cats.I want to wear a sweater wich has gore  knitted on it.I wish i was just alone crying in pain.Yeah that last part is weird.Am i depressed but if i said i was people would just make fun of me plus i live in a the most homophobic country ever.I wish people didnt judge you on how you were.Its easy when you get used to hiding emotions and forgetting how to cry.People thinking they're the "master manipulator" oh shut up.Trust issues are hard alot.I cannot make firends at all even online fuck anxiety.I use hospital core and gore to cope with life.Should i try smoking?????I just want attention...

︶꒷꒦︶ 𓊆🤍𓊇 •┈ The Doctor Will See You Soon ೀ ┈•

    ❤️‍🩹 °˖ ⊹ ꒰🗝️🌡️꒱ Welcome back』ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ❤️‍🩹

┆ ┆ ┆ ┆ ┆ ┆ 𓍯 Don't You Worry  𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ 𓈈

┆ ┆ ┆ ┆🩸

┆ ┆ ┆        ⩩♥︎₊ I promise you… ⟢

┆ ┆🩸

┆ ‍      ᖗ⚠︎ This Will Be Quick 💉 ⩇⩇:⩇⩇

🩸

✄ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

                        𓍯𓂃『Oh  dear！』ˊˎ- 

　　☹︎『My、This  Doesn't Look So    Good』☹︎

　　　　　　         　　・・・

           🩹『It was an honest mistake！』🩸