I've been thinking that being disabled sucks

First I want to explain my disability,
I have it in my left hand, to be more precise I only have my thumb on my left hand and you don't know how much this sucks and the worst thing is that I feel that no one says how much it really sucks.

I've been thinking about what to say, what to complain about first, how I don't feel good about my own body, how the positivity on social media about disabilities has only made me hate myself more, how they use disabled people as objects to get an aww out of people, how I've lived my whole life hiding my arm for everyone's comfort, the fact that I have never held hands with a potential partner, or friend for fear of disgusting them, how I have witnessed how people are disgusted by me, having a part of your body that causes disgust, shock, dislike, rejection, and not being able to do anything and having no one to blame, because it is not your fault that you were born this way, but I still have the responsibility to hide, I'm tired of hiding.