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19.06.24 (nel day)
Today was my bestttt friends birthday, and I'm so happy because she seemed really happy^^ she said she's not used to celebrating birthdays much and that she doesn't hate them anymore because of me. her mom did something that ruined it it a bit but it got better after that! I'm still so nervous about meeting her in summer ahhhhh TwT she says she's nervous about speaking so she's just gonna write on paper she's so sillyyyyy:3
these past weeks my gackt obsession has randomly peaked, I'm even listening to him right now. I think that's why I'll never say I "hate" pop, i just hate the way they do pop now. Any form of older music just sounds so much better to me. Also Dir En Grey have been more listened to me this year than any other. My taste always leans towards like the mix of heavy but like...i don't really know how to explain the kote kei sound but...if you know you get it. And Dir En Grey can be much heavier than that...i don't know what I'm saying i lost that train of thought😭
Ive started writing some stuff for CHÉRI ROUAGE! we are going to do a cover of au revoir by malice mizer first, then our own stuff! we got a drummer, my friend sako! his visuals already fit so well with my visons. we also got another guitarist...kind of? like they have been busy with studies so we have been unable to even introduce ourselves to eachother. if we make a fanclub what should we make the name of it? or should we wait a bit for that? i don't know im just so excited because i feel as if we work together better^^
ahhh, these past few years i seem to be unable to finish my art and it's been getting to me. even when i say its finished, i don't feel as if they will ever truly be completed. I'll just use writing as my creative outlet for now, as it is satisfying me^^ a new poem will come as soon as i get inspiration.
I've also been feeling so incomplete, because it seems all of my friends have partners or at least someone they like but i can't seem to find anyone:c and i don't want to rush into anything either because thats bound to go wrong. why do we humans know more about the universe than ourselves?
i wish i had someone else that i could just talk to hours for. I have nel, but i don't want to be too reliant on her, you know? i of course have other friends but i always end up growing distant :/ perhaps it's my fault, maybe i focus on one person too much and leave the others. but when i express i wish we could talk more they say they are avalible but then i feel bad for bombarding them with problems as thats all i seem to tell them about
my sleeping schedule is a mess TwT I honestly don't mind it since it's not going to change anything but i do sometimes wish i didn't need to sleep. it seems like such a waste of time, when i could be doing so much. my motivation always comes when i can't use it unfortunately
i want to start posting in Japanese but i have no Japanese speaking friends here, and i don't think there is many here in the first place.
hmmm, thats enough from me! if you want ask about anythinggggg at all, even if its unrelated just comment it :3
much love
えいる♡
Comments
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evelyn 🏳️⚧️
Super nice blog, I loved reading :)
darcia
RAGH idk how to even say it j just love the way you talk the way you write
idk the amazetasticness and kindness is just radiating from u, the way u talk has so much personality. Ure a very interesting person and alsOOO ur music taste is just kakanatsanityleveloffantalala
Im so glad i have u in my life, ure an absolutely waffletastical friend, I hope u know that. ANDD i could talk to u for hours abat literally anything, i hope u know taht too :3 a person like u deserves everything in te world and i really wish the best for u always
GRGGRGRGR thank you pookie u r so wowzerly i hope we will stay friends forever because you are so cool and nice and RAHHHH sometimes when i want to talk to u i get shy because u r so cool that it's like talking to someone famous
by 薔薇🍰使徒; ; Report
WHARRRTT STOPPPP ARGGHHHWO
EXPLODESINTOBROCOLLIPARTICLESDont ever hesitate to text me omaigah, i love talking to u, ure so sigma like what are you yappig abat?
i will always be glad to
by darcia; ; Report
𝕴𝖘𝖆
also, I just want to add that i'm so glad to see a positive post! all the blogs or bulletins that I personally have read since i've JOINED are almost always so negative, so yea ＾_＾
im gald to be a nice change^^ i honestly try not to get into drama too much but from what i have peeked at its mostly negative and people fighting TwT
by 薔薇🍰使徒; ; Report
yea it is, I used to read a lot of drama blogs but tbh I don't care about them anymore or I at least don't wanna read them anymore because of the negativity
by 𝕴𝖘𝖆; ; Report
𝕴𝖘𝖆
okayyyyy that was a lot so i have a lot to say ＾_＾
I'm so happy for you that you can meet you best friend because me and my best friend have been friends for over 3 years, we only live like 2 hours away from each other but still weren't able to meet, so I'm really happy that you can!
and with the pop thing, I completely agree, new pop is just so boring and also just sounds like shit tbh. old music is so gold i don't know, maybe it's because they haven't had autotune and where actually creative?
also, YOU'RE MAKING A BAND?? THAT'S SO COOL OMGGGGAGAGAG
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR GUYS'S NAME IS BUT IM YOUR #1 FAN!!! ＾_＾
I understand how you feel because it's the same for me, i do have my online best friend and i really like them but lately,.. i don't wanna talk shit because they are very important to me and i really love them but it's just.. let's just say they are chronically online, very sensitive but doesn't really care about other peoples feelings, ykwim?
also, you can speak japanese?? since when? are you japanese or did you just learn it? ＾_＾
I'm gonna study a bit for my math exam tomorrow, and then I'll go to sleep, so good night ! :3
yeah, i honestly never expected to meet her, especially since we have only been friends for a few months, even though it feels like forever :3 i hope you get to see your friend in the future!
i think with pop, over time "appealing to the masses" has been used too much to the point where every artist is a copy of another. its a shame really because they are talented but that talent is watered down into baby food to feed people who can't handle people who are the slightest bit different
yeah, people in general seem to be insensitive these days its strange. i remember when i was younger people were nothing like they are to day it seems like one day a switch randomly flipped in everyones mind
I just study Japanese, I wouldn't say I'm fluent but i can carry conversations and stuff!^^ i honestly need to get into my usual study routine or I'll forget all I've learnt TwT
rest well, and good luck on your exams!!^^ <3
by 薔薇🍰使徒; ; Report
yea you're right about pop
and that's really impressive! :O (you kinda speaking japanese)
thank you sm! but I am aware that it's not gonna be better than a D but yea still thank you!!
by 𝕴𝖘𝖆; ; Report