Mentally Me

I have been feeling more positive lately. I’ve been happily medicated. For once I can say that I’m genuinely showing appreciation towards a med. 

    The old me wouldn’t have committed to taking anything. Over the years I’ve slowly yet surely matured at my own pace. No, I’m not autistic (not that there’s anything wrong with anyone that is! If anything I wish that was my case.) No, instead I struggle with mental disorders & if you’ve read any of my other blogs, you’d know one of my new to me disorders is that I have “Schizoaffective Disorder” which is basically schizophrenia but mine is and has a major mood component. 

      The medicine that I’ve been taking is called “Olanzapine” and I can honestly say it’s the first one I’ve ever noticed had a decent affect or effect (sorry, one of you dear readers can correct my grammar.)

      I also struggle with Borderline personality Disorder, Hypomania, Severe anxiety, bipolar mood disorder, (and  everyone has this next one & if you don’t, you will eventually, let’s hope not but life is life) PTSD. It’s always been hard for me to maintain a job because of my issues. So, I’ve kind of been nomadic as far as jobs go & I’m pretty much a jack-of-all-trades. 

    I have also been trying my darn hardest to get the right help I need so I can be more functioning and feel like at least a normal person, that’s not me saying I’m not normal. I think people with my mental issues or similar issues typically have a bad stigma, & mostly that’s because I feel like it’s 1.) People aren’t being heard, they aren’t being helped when they speak up about their issues, which results in said issues worsening…so I get that in some VERY BIZARRE scenarios bad things happen. I also tend to think media and tv makes stuff worse. 2.) Some people feel ashamed or maybe don’t know where to turn to for help. 

    So far I have been on a waiting list to get a case manager for the help I need as well as counseling but it takes time, as with anything that has to do with leveling up in life. At least with my medication I’m better able to manage my moods! I also have noticed a grand difference from the me now  and the me before being on meds. The me then, would not be able to catch an incident that would trigger me before it happened, I’d be LUCKY if I could catch myself before becoming irate, or spiraling out of control in a moody tornado. (LOOK OUT EVERYONE!) Now, I can catch myself before I get moody, I reel myself in before going off the deep end. I can honestly say that is a good feeling. 

 Self improvement is a REAL thing, I believe we all have what it takes to make it become reality