Idk if I like him

So there is a guy, that I might have crush on, but Idk if I really like him. When I see snap from him or have conversation w him I feel really excited (even tho we had only 2 superficial conversation via text messages) and I find him sooo attractive and cute, even tho my friends say he's ugly.

Also I like to stalk his insta and twitter and I get really jelaous if I find out that he was texting with one of my friends T-T

But when I see him irl I don't get those butterflies in my stomach anymore and I find him less attrctive. I also see bad sides and red flags in him as well, but even after knowing them I still can't move on and he crosses my mind at least four times during the day. Idk if it's because I truly like him or because I crave for a relationship so badly that my brain decided to draw my attention to him.

Sometimes I have so big obsession with him that he starts to annoy me ((

I'm sure that I don't want a realationship with him, but I can't move on either, so idk what to do T-T T-T

(Idk what blogs are usually used for but ig I use it as my diary and went about my problems :3)