Haven't posted in this place ever since I first joined and I just remembered this place existed like yesterday, so I'm gonna post about my life experiences as a mute!!!! :3

if you've ever, for any reason, thought "Damn, what would life be like if I just didn't talk at all?" or even "Damn, I should go mute"

Yea, don't, it sucks.

90% of living is communication, and, shocking news, communication is hard when you can't speak!

However some people, who are in it cuz of some fucked up traumatizing life altering main character ahh reason or that are in it cuz they have selective mutism or cuz they were just born with it or went through a surgery that got it removed or yada-yada, didn't get a choice in the matter, and they are forced to live through this with little to no opportunities to gain speech back

Personally? I have a pretty strong selective mutism, which, unlike what the name makes way too many people believe, does not mean I get to select when to go mute. I can't talk in most places that aren't home or with most people that aren't my parents or my boyfirend :p

Mutism, it sucks, why?

Well thanks for asking, sir.Mr.Header III. Other than the obvious fact that you barely have any easily accessible ways of communicating, it also blocks you out of MANY job opportunities and opportunities in life in general! Stuff like making reservations or trying to make an appointment will be a nightmare if the only option to make said appointments is through phone calls. Hell, getting phone calls at all is one of the scariest experiences someone like me could ever get! And many times they're obligatory!

Scenario: The IRS just called you, and if you don't answer in 5 seconds they'll either arrest you or figure "oh they haven't paid their taxes cuz they dead" and you'll have to figure out how to burocratly ressurect yourself from the death.

Option 1. Don't answer

Result: Jail

Option 2. Answer

Result: You end up sitting there awkwardly while the operator on the other side is trying to figure out why they can't hear you

And not just phone calls! Any interaction sucks ass!

And you'd think that after living in a place for a long enough time, and going to the same places and meeting the same people for months at a time, you'd think people would understand how to treat you

Turns out that NO

You will still go through the same struggles everyday!

Ok so how the fuck am I supposed to communicate?

There are several ways of communicating with mutism, that range from "bad" to "very bad and awkward" given that any form of communication that isn't speech will suck ass when compared to speech!

But, alas, I will instead categorize them by comparing them to each other, in which case it ranges from "Good but only in certain situations" to "Just awkward" and even "bad."

I'll start off from the first form of communication that pops up to anyone's mind when thinking of "communication with no speech": 

Writing!

Writing on a board or a paper and pen is, in my opinion and experience, slow and awkward. Unless you manage to write 200 words per minute on a piece of paper with a pen, you will always be slow as all hell to write down even just the most basic of statements! Here's a challenge for you, take a piece of paper and a pen or pencil or whatever, get a stopwatch, and speedrun writting "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog", see how fast you can do it. At the end of it, you'll realize just what I'm talking about: 

Such a statement can be said verbally in like 4 seconds, but writting the same statement can take even 6 times as long! And in a real life situation, where you're trying to keep a conversation flowing, taking a minute to add anything to the conversation is just plain horrible.

Don't get me wrong, writing isn't just horrible, it can still help you out in some situations such as kindly and awkwardly slipping a note to the bank teller to tell them "Hi I would like to withdraw all the money of the bank, this is a robbery (excuse the note I'm mute)"

Of course, writting on a piece of paper isn't the only way of communicating through text: 

You can use your phone to write something on the notes app and then flip the screen to the person you're talking to, which is 100% better since you're statistically more likely to be faster at typing on a mobile phone than by handwriting everything. There's even certain apps, tailormade for the mute, that make typing faster through the use of images and stuff, making you write one word at a time instead of one letter at a time. Heck, you could even-

Use TTS software!

Yea that. Thanks mrs.Madam.Header IV.

TTS software at first might sound like a good idea- And that's because it is, it's really helpful when you're talking in a group or something, or if you're talking online- but something that such software often lacks is emotion. Now, that might be changing with stuff like AI TTS software coming out left and right, and, if you're willing to pay a liver and your pinky toe to a company that acquired all its training data through morally dubious practices, go for it, champ!

Such tools are also really helpful for stuff like calls! That's definetely a great pro. So, if you're willing to talk through a robotic voice everyday, then TTS software is a great option.

Now, the problem both writing through your phone and using TTS software have is that what if you don't have a phone?

Bear with me, what if you one day forget your phone at home before leaving for work? There's a very obvious problem here, being that phones are expensive and fragile and can be lost anywhere at any moment!

In fact, even paper is like that! But at least paper costs less than an iPhone 78 X plus ultra deluxe edition (WITH SMALL DICK COMPENSATOR INCLUDED!)

This brings me to:

Communication cards

Communication cards are an option I've seen a lot, they're very good because of their customizability, you can put any drawing or image you'd like at them, and then you can put them all in a small booklet or hang them all by a keychain and flip them over and show the person what your need is.

However, communication cards present a very obvious flaw: they're extremelly situational.

They are extremelly awesome and to be honest I really recommend it in order to ask for stuff you need that you ask for a lot, something like saying "I'm hungry" or "Can I take a break" or "Hi my name is April."

However, they are not usable for conversational use, and the range of phrases you can say are very limited.

They are a good option for asking for needs and expressing stuff you express and ask and have to say a lot without writing it down everytime, but for anything else, they just fall short.

And, of course, it also has the same flaw all the previosuly presented methods of communication I've shown also have: it's a material object you need to take care of, because if you lose or break it or something, you won't be able to communicate anymore until you get a new one, and that sucks.

So is there any other method of communicating that doesn't have that same exact flaw-?

Sign language!

Sign language is the N.1, BEST OF ALL, ABSOLUTELY AWESOME AND GREATEST COMMUNICATION METHOD EVER... If anyone around you also knows it.

The main problem with using sign language is in its name: Language.

It is basically an entirely new language that you gotta first find the time and effort to learn, and is completely useless if no one else you know also knows it! And good luck convincing your family and friends to learn an entirely new language just to understand what you're trying to tell them.

But! It is probably also the best way of communicating with mutism as long as everyone around you also knows it!

The speed is on par with vocal speech, you can say anything you want in it without limitations, and it isn't awkward such as constantly flipping your phone towards people or as having people hear a robotic voice speak on your behalf.

Note: there are definetely other communication methods I haven't mentioned here, probably cuz I haven't used them personally so they didn't come to mind while writing this. If you know of any other method of communicating without speaking, do tell in the comments!

Other struggles and guide on what to and NOT to do around mute people

There are many struggles mute people go by every single day and there's little to nothing they can do about many of these, because many of these are stuff done by other people!

In my life I've been:

• Made fun of
• Peer pressured into trying to make me talk (which just made me more uncomfortable and less able to talk)
• People assuming I was deaf, even when they knew I wasn't (this one's both a blessing and a curse)
• I've been excluded and discriminated against
• People saying I was just doing it for the "attention" (Oh brother if I could choose I would talk all day and night with no pause I fucking hate being mute)
• I've been asked multiple choice questions (these suck ass. please just format them into a yes or no question or if you really can't then assign like a number or put the options in front of me so I can just point or count)

Here's a list of stuff you should andshouldn't do when you're dealing with mute people:

• Don't be weird
• Don't be a dick
• We're also human beings
• No we're not all mentally disabled or deaf
• Just treat us normally
• Don't talk down to us as if we were kids, I swear there are way too many people that talk to as if I was a little kid, it genuinely feels so embarassing and bad, I'm like taller than you and you're talking down to me as if I were a fucking toddler just speak normally jesus christ it's not that hard
• Try to not give us multiple choice questions. If possible, please only give us yes or no questions, try and format them into yes or no questions, and, if that's really not possible (too many options or something), then assign a number to each one so we can count up to that number with our fingers, or, even better, lay the options in front of us physically so we can point to them and choose.
• Once again, we're not all deaf, we can hear you. There's no need to speak more loudly to us, and please don't talk shit to us in front of us. This thing is both a blessing cuz you can catch a lot of drama and stuff you wouldn't have catched on if people didn't assume you wouldn't be able to hear them (yes I heard all your secrets, Jacob. I WILL blackmail you.) But it is also a curse given that a lot of people will just talk shit about you in front of you, which always hurts. I remember writing something on a piece of paper once to communicate and the girl I showed it to went to her friend to talk about it and the other girl legit just said "Oh they know Italian?" (I'm from Italy) and straight up just talked smack about me, without even whispering, as if I wasn't just 1 meter away from them. It genuinely just hurt like wtf

Gaah there's 100% a lot more shit I'm forgetting to add and I'm running out of time for finishing writing this so uuuh if youcan think of anything else add it to the comments and I might do a part 2 in the future if I feel like it or something idk