my comic relieif

Episodes 52-62: Winky’s on the seven seas.

Winky In the Navy, Lord Help us all (1941).

“In 1941 Somewhere in the Atlantic is a lone navy ship with the most dangerous secret weapon ever created, they call it Winky.” A seaman Remembers.

“The XO wants to see you pronto.” Says Petty Officer Johnson.

“My Names not Pronto.”, Replies Winky.

“Get your censored to the bridge now Winklevos.”

“Yes Sir.” Replies Winky.

Winky puts his mop in the bucket and climbs the stairs to the Commanding officer's Office.

Winky walks down the hall and raps on the XO Door.

“Come in.” Says a middle-aged man in his late 40’s sits behind a desk.

“Seaman, You know why you are here?” 

“To ask me to the Prom?” Replies Winky.

“You know if this was the 1800s hundreds I would have you walking the plank.”

“Well you would remember sir.” Replies Winky.

“YOU think you are really special don’t you?”

“No Sir.”

“Aside from your jokes that I am up to here with now, I have to relocate your quarters to the brig for the next three days Or you can paint over that naked women you painted on the side. This isn’t a bomber we don’t paint murals on the sides of ships.”

“Why the hell would you do something like that to my ship?”

“I ran out of canvas.” “If you were not such a damn good mechanic I would have you transferred to the arctic.” Johnson Says.

“Make up your mind Sir, Do you want to kill me or send me to the Arctic?”

“Johnson tries to hold his temper in by grabbing his desk tightly. “Yes. But here is what I am going to do, You get to spend every night in the brig and every day painting over that naked woman on the side of my ship.”

“Yes Sir.”

“Now get the hell out and report to the Brig.”

“Aye Aye Skipper,” Winky says as he leaves the XO’s office grabs a few things from his quarters, and heads to the brig.

The officer in charge “Welcome Back Winky.”

“Good to be back, Got my room ready?” “Yes, I had to maid clean it up extra special just for you.” Says Officer Gerrade Holistor.

“Well if it is to my liking, there may be a tip in it?”, Says Winky.

“On your salary?”

“Who said it was money?” 

“Winky, get in there you got a big day tomorrow.” Winky walks into the cell and says to himself “Home Sweet Home.” Holistor says, “You really like in there don’t you?” 

“Quietest part of the whole ship.”, says Winky.

“Really?”

“And the rocking puts me to sleep like a baby.” Winky falls unto the bunk after shutting the cell door.

“Don’t disturb me until my wake up call.”

“Winky you sure are something, What that is?... Well what I do not know but you are something.”

“Tired, Now shh, Winky needs some Z’s.” 

“Winky, needs some slaps,” Holistor says as he shuts the door separating his office from the cells.

The next morning Winky finds him hanging over the ship once again, painting over his masterpiece and talking to it.

“Oh Honey, I am gonna miss you , Me and you had some good times.”

Winky takes the paint roller and begins erasing slowly at first then he decides to sing a song that he made up off the top of his head.

“I will miss you when you go.

I will miss these times you know You made me happy when so low.

We both made a great show.

Then he breaks into the chorus

When we part and when we go, We will come together you know.

When we part and when we go, We will come together you know

You and me dancing on the Sea Go Into the Night, we will be.

Something we never, Never will see.

As Winky finishes his final lyric, He hears clapping and whistling above him.

“Damn Winky you got some pipes.” Winky, blushes a little.

“Geez Fellows cant a guy sing goodbye to his girl?”

One of the seamen shouts down, “The ship won't fit in the motel room.”

“Guys can’t I have alone time?”

“Yes, One more song, do you take requests.?”

“Sing something happy.” Says another one.

Winky begins to sing “Happy days are here again.”

The XO walks out and orders everyone back to work.

“Now you disturbing the operations of my ship. “

“Sorry Sir.” Says Winky.

“Get back to damn work.” Says Johnson.

“Aye Aye Skipper.”

Winky finishes the last of the repair job just before the sun begins to set. He packs up his stuff and begins to pull himself up in the cradle. Winky climbs onto the deck and begins to put away the equipment. When he hears an odd noise from below deck. Winky follows the sound with his hearing and traces it down a few flights, He puts his ear on the wall.

Winky whispers to the wall?” Where does it hurt baby?” Winky motions for one of the seaman that passes by “Can you get me maintenance, seems a hydraulic pump in here is about to go to pieces. Hurry.” Winky Opens a nearby cabinet to grab a spare toolbox and begins to open the panel where he is sure the problem is starting.

Winky manages to remove the cover and begins fumbling his way with the mechanics.

A small alarm light goes on near the item he is fumbling with and trying to open a second panel, revealing all the electronic components. Winky Spots the leak as the fluid starts pouring out of it more and more, as the leak slowly gets larger pouring into the sensitive electric part below it.

The components below Winky's hand begin to spark and cause Small fires near where Winky is operating Winky puts out the fire by smothering it with a small cloth. And continues working on the system, he finds a switch and turns off the component and another alarm light goes on. Winky bandages up the leaking tubing as a temporary fix and then flips a switch to turn on the backup circuits.

The first six yellow lights cycle through a few times then they turn green. Maintenance support comes in through the doors.

“About damn time you guys got here, I got it patched up for now but we need to replace this whole unit. “Sorry had to hit the head first.” Says Seaman Johnny.

“It is okay, You guys got this now? I got to go.”

“We got this but we would prefer you to stick around, you seem to have this magic with machines.”

“If I am magic how come I can’t make a group of naked chorus line dancers appear in my quarters.” Says Winky.

Jason Replies, “Because there is not enough room.”

“Well that explains it.”, Winky laughs as he backs up a little bit to allow them to work on the situation.

“What do you need me to do?” Winky asks? 

“Talk to the ship like you do.” Says Johnny.

“I do not really talk to it, I listen to it. I actually talk to myself.”

“You won’t get a section eight here, You Know how much the Captain loves you.” Says Jason.

“Ha ha, Right, and hes gonna let me marry his daughter.”

“You got a point, you got a better chance of marrying him then his daughter.” Says Jason.

“I Don’t think hes my type , he seems to be on permanent PMS, censored in my shoes.” Replies Winky.

“Winky face it, you have a unique personality.” Says Johnny.

“So what do you mean by that?” Asks Winky.

“Well your hard as hell to hate, that is for sure, but you sure make it difficult to like you.”

“Well it does keep out the Riff Raff. I won’t even let me into my club.”

“As Long as you have high standards you will be very fine.” Replies Jason as he removes the damaged part and sets it on the floor. And takes the spare part from Johnny.

“The highest and the finest.” says Winky as he leans against the wall then crosses his arm and his legs.

“I need the spanner for a moment and the voltmeter.” Jason requests.

“I am almost done here, I am going to need your talent in a moment Winky.” Says Jason.

“What am I Chopped liver?” Says Johnny.

“Of course not, Of course not Johnny, I was thinking spinach.” Says Winky.