lil vent abt my gender dysphoria i had back then

im a cis fem andddd, i got bored so i decided to vent a lil bit so i can admit that i was a tomboy before i 6th grade, and little did i know, i think i kinda having a phase there.. so i was a boy wannabe since like 4-5 y/o, im not kidding. i lied to my friends in the kindergarten that my pp got cutted off when i get circumstanced o___o so i tell them that my parents forced me to wear a dress and all, and y'all should know i was really uncomfortable wearing those.. i feel like those were not for me.. it was always like that. i even lied about my gender online, and.. surprisingly when im being a boy, i feel more accepted by them, so i lied for years until i admit it and going off from my account ( i never use it again ). and those were goes on for years before i hit puberty. when i accidentally cut my hairs off, i was really happy because thats mean i can look like a boy without my long hair ( and i have excuse to cut my hair off to my parents, ROFLMAO XDD ). i literally showing off to everybody i know that i can finally look like a boy. im ashamed of my own gender, why cant i born male? why cant i have a masculine look? why they wont accept that i want to be a boy? but then when i hit puberty, suddenly i really want to take care of my self and become a total woman, which is great for me >__O but my kinda tomboyish personality didnt really gone i must say DX so im here talking about this was because idk, i still accept y'all whatever gender are y'all or y'all pronounce she he it they them whatever i dont understand. but y'all should know that im not supporting lgbtq+ because of my religion, i respect y'all with my heart, so its fine! take care