love?? idek

not to get deep or anything,, but liek. does any of this ACTUALLY matter? ik im like usually a nihilist as i follow alot of those beliefs but SERIOUSLY i am a teenage "girl" with 0 friends. people i thought i was close to? tell me we actually arent that close. people i like?? at all?? dont talk to me. like i try but am i seriously in the wrong for not texting first 24/7? im spending summer alone. if not alone, around family that have never done anything but hate me for having depression an shittt. i am just so sick of it???? maybe im just overdramatic. or off my meds. i just hopr this hell hole all GOES AWAY sooner than later. i miss u luci.