"Happy For You"

I'VE always been a bit weird when it comes to forming relationships. I had a short-lived thing (only a few months) going on with this girl I met from college about 2 years ago and proceeded to get swept along by a woman I've known on Discord for a while, who has had me wrapped around her fingers since we started to really talk in 2023 (sorta, it's not an actual relationship and its complicated and I won't get into specifics). With that in mind, it's hard to talk to people who have been in less strenuous relationships for longer and got started far earlier than I have. I see them talking, flirting with each other, all that stuff that lovers do that everyone's familiar with by now and I begin to feel self-conscious as to how I can only have bits and pieces of what they have and think about how nice it must feel being in their shoes.

What I do not do, though, is feel envious. I feel the opposite, in fact. This life is beautiful in the sense that we're all capable of so much more than we would ever think to be true. I never thought I'd get a girlfriend ever, but here we are. I have a hard time expressing it sometimes, but it makes me really happy for a pair (or more!!) to take solace in each other's company. I wish them nothing but the best, for getting a jackpot in this little roulette we call love and running off with the best damn payoff they may ever know, and I'm happy for them. Doesn't even mean I'm dissatisfied with my current situation either, I just love seeing people prosper and spread love in a world full of hate, and I love to follow in their footsteps along side the eclipsing moon of a woman that I have the utmost honour of calling a blessing and my best friend.