OFFICALLY LOSING IT

I have been so pissed lately. Like EVERY LITTLE THING has been mkaing me enraged. Like this is not my normal anger and pissiness which is super bad, but now this anger, I have been screaming at my mom over the smallest shit and like I have good points when arguing too, like I'm not just just spouting off random shit, I've been making good points. My mom has gotten tired of it, she told me that our fridge has been having issues with the temperature, told me that WE need to clean it out. I'm writing down song lyrics (meet the grahams) and started bitching her out and telling her that I didn't want to and that I just started to write again. She told me that I didn't and wasn't asked to help. BITCH THEN WHY THE ACTUAL FUCK DID YOU SAY WE?! Like as you can tell I'm still mad and getting more and more mad the more I think about it. She then told me at 8:55pm 5 fucking minutes before my brothers bedtime that she had just gotten the area infront of my aunts mini-fridge cleaned out and that she needs me to help her move it and clean it out, like bitch, I didn't and pretty much refused to clean/help with the normal fridge, why the fuck does she think that I'm gonna help her now? So I look at her with my normal "what the flying fuck do you think I'm about to say", I huffed at her and told her "Yeah sure". She told me don't worry about it, so I said okay and sat back down. She had Nana (my aunt) come and help her, bitching loud enough to where I can hear saying that she asked me but since I was being a bitch and didn't want to fucking help that she needed her help. Good luck, not my fridge so I don't care and I don't eat really anything that's in the fridge or freezer, so my point, WHY WOULD I HELP? So she asks that since she has to get my brother in the bath and shower (side note: WHY WOULD SHE NOT WAIT UNTIL SHES DONE WITH THAT FIRST???) so she asks if I could get him in, in my opinion, it's a lot better than cleaning out my aunts nasty ass mini-fridge so I get him in the shower, tell me why that she enraged me so much more than it should've. Then as I'm losing my shit and yelling at him because he's acting like he's never taken a fucking shower, she has the balls to tell me "be easy", bitch then get in here and do it yourself since you don't like the way I'm doing it. Then I get him in the bath, near 10 minutes in, she knocks on the door and tells me she's gotten all of the things switched from the big fridge to Nanas. I said cool, grabbed my shit and walked out. Tell me why she asked me where I was going, like isn't it obvious, I'm leaving. But I turned around and asked her if she still needed me in there, she said no so I walked away. She showed me that we got a donation on our gofundme, I told her cool, because honestly I don't care. Meds or not, I'm still suicidal and shit so why keep them? She was like or don't stay and listen to what else I have to say. Like I'm out of most of my meds right now, I don't give a flying fuck. I would commit a crime if I didn't care about weed and nicotine. She has me so fucking done with this. Like I'm about to tell her to take me to the hospital before I fucking kill someone or hurt something or myself. This shit has been driving me fucking crazy. I need either all of my meds or none of them. This half-ass bullshit is making me even more fucking pissed then I already am. I'm also just fed up with all of this shit going on with my homie. Like I'm on the phone with her for maybe 30 minutes, she hangs up, says instagram glitched, she has an old phone, I get it. I try to call her back and she tells me that she's going to the skatepark with her friends. Like thanks, I'm honestly at like my worst I have been in damn near a year and this is what happens. Like I told myself earlier, have fun replacing me when I drop your ass. Like my anger has gotten this fucking bad, my own homie for 2 years now is making me see fucking red with that little line. I'm done, I'm fucking done with all of this shit.