what is age regression?

Age regression is a mental defense mechanism in which one's mind reverts to that of a younger age than the person physically is. This can be just a few years younger than the person’s physical age or back to early childhood, even infancy. This can be caused by trauma or mental illness, though this is not always the case. For some people, it’s also involuntary, meaning they have little to no control over it happening.

Some people mistake age regression for some kind of a kínk or fétish, but this couldn’t be further from the truth. Age regression is not just “roleplay” or “pretending.” While regressed, you’re genuinely mentally processing things as though you’re younger. Your ability to consent to adult things like séx is hindered. Age regression can never be sexual, ever. Communities of fétishes where people roleplay as kids do exist, but they are separate from age regression. Knowing the difference in terminology can also be helpful! 

Some people like to have someone care for them while they’re in this headspace. This person is referred to as a caregiver. Some people argue that a regressor having a caregiver pushes things into a power exchange, which is a kínk dynamic, but this is an incorrect perception of the situation. Again, while regressed, you really are mentally processing things as though you’re younger. It’s not just “roleplay” or “pretend” and your ability to consent to adult things is hindered. Being unable to consent includes the situation of a power exchange. It’s not giving someone power over you, it’s just trusting someone to help care for you while you’re in a particularly vulnerable headspace. Yes, even if the regressor has a nickname they call their caregiver while in this headspace such as “mama” or “dada.”

I’d also like to bring up the point that making fun of someone for their age regression is not only rude but also genuinely harmful. It’s not just someone “acting like a baby,” it’s a genuine mental regression often caused by trauma. I don’t know if I’d go as far as to call someone ableist for being against age regression, but it definitely is harmful behavior. And for those who try to say “but why do they post about it online?” as a way to try to argue against age regressors, it’s because sharing your experiences with a certain mental health topic can build a sense of community. It can feel empowering to know you’re not alone.

Another topic I’d like to mention is what’s called “impure regression.” Impure regression is essentially the unhappy side of age regression, and I believe it’s almost always if not strictly an involuntary experience. Impure regression happens when something negatively triggers someone to regress rather than positively triggers it. For example, one of the reasons I regress is due to childhood trauma, and when an adult yells at me, sometimes my brain goes back to the mentality of being a scared child. Impure regression is typically accompanied by a panic attack, flashback, sensory overload, or a combination of these things. Although, for some people, being regressed impurely can still be safer than not being regressed at all. For example, when I’m in a bad moment mentally, I tend to have very self destructive urges. While I’m not regressed, I usually think “ah yes, good idea.” Whereas when I am regressed, I think, “no, I’m not gonna do that. That’s scary.” And that’s a much healthier way of processing those urges.

There’s also something called “age dreaming,” which is when you aren’t actually mentally regressed but you’re acting childish (using a pacifier, playing with toys, etc.) also as a strictly nonséxual coping mechanism.

As mentioned, some people regress involuntarily due to things like mental disorders, childhood trauma, etc. but what about when it’s voluntary? There are some people whose regression is voluntary, meaning they get themselves into the headspace on purpose. But why do they do this? Well, for some people, it’s also their way of coping with childhood trauma. For others, it’s a way of regaining a childhood they feel they missed out on. For some, it’s a way to relive their “childhood” to the best of their ability but this time as the correct gender, since some regressors are transgender. And for some, it’s simply a way to relieve stress. Regardless of the reasoning, it’s still completely valid.

Some people wonder if age regression can be dangerous. In some cases, it can be. Age regression is a form of escapism, meaning it can be dangerous in the same way all escapism can be dangerous. It can become addictive to some people, and it may prevent them from living in the moment. Too much of any coping mechanisms can be harmful. Secondly, it is a very vulnerable headspace to be in. Unfortunately, there’s no shortage of gross people in the world who enjoy using this to their advantage. Sometimes regressors will regress around someone who doesn’t have their best interest in mind, and the results are traumatic. And for some people, myself included, regressing voluntarily very frequently can cause you to start regressing involuntarily. It can be scary to slip into this headspace at random. So, to answer the question of “can age regression be dangerous,” I’d say in general no, but in some cases, for some people, yes, it can be dangerous.

At the end of the day, it can be a wonderful way of healing your inner child, and you never know why someone regresses. If there’s one lesson I’d like this carrd to send, it would be to stop being so harsh towards people simply because you don’t understand what they’re dealing with!