Recap on my life.

My life has been okay over these past few months, okay as in im living. I dont Know what to do anymore. I have all this confidence and love for myself but I dont know what to do with it. My life is like a pen and paper but you dont know what to write. All these things are set out with no purpose. Ive just been spending everyday watching shit till I pass out. And its not like i can go out and do shit because i live in a rural place. I wish I could go out with my friends or go date someone but i just cant. Im already going downhill as it is and this newfound nothingness isnt helping. I just want to Love someone again, it was the only thing to make me live life. Its like life finially slowed down and i could Take my time everyday. Now its moving faster than i can think. I can remember everyday from when i was with her. But now i cant even remember yesterday.