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i think sometimes being ugly has its pros, but it comes with weird thought processes on my end. for example, i will never be stalked, or approached by odd people with ill intentions in public. i at least have some sort of guaranteed safety when i am out. it does not alleviate the agony of others staring at me, but this does mean i am not bothered while going about my daily tasks - the necessary ones i must do (or else i do not leave my house).
but i would be lying if i said i didnt have some sort of sick envy for women who are approached in public, even by people who have the wrong ideas. to be told you are beautiful by a stranger is a privilege many dont understand they have!! i feel sick to my stomach and turn green with jealousy when people recount their tails of being ogled and followed. oh to be desired, if even for a fleeting moment.
and this is degenerate of me and i very well understand that, but when you have nothing those little moments are everything. of course i do not wish to be assaulted! i want to make that clear. it is just difficult to hide my frustration sometimes when women complain about constant suitors approaching them. i wish i was you. i am not who you should be complaining to.
being ugly, a thought i had today.
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Dart Highwind
Oftentimes, people who call themselves ugly can't see their hidden beauty because they're so used to seeing their selves.
And yeah, sometimes people have a rough time with conventional beauty, but there's always been alt communities that love those who diverge from conventions.
I recommend finding friends in such alternative spaces so you can see how diverse beauty can be ;3
thank you sincerely for your reply. i believe of the spaces you are talking about but it has been beyond difficult to find them. being neuro-diverse does not help with finding and making friends.. still searching for the people who will accept and enjoy my company.. i have not given up complete hope yet. thank you again for speaking with me
by waxingmoongirl; ; Report
That sounds familiar.
Been diagnosed aspie since 17 and I knew it since 15. I know exactly how it goes.
Give yourself patience. Allow yourself to grow into who you're meant to be. Take risks, especially when you're still young. Be confident and have no regrets. People are naturally attracted to that and will come eventually.
I'm in my mid-30s and my fiance will be moving in with me soon. It's never too late.
by Dart Highwind; ; Report