Cravings once more.

Many many days now, I find myself craving an emotional escape from what I am feeling. Most of all, I just wish to feel good and beyond myself. To cry in sympathetic arms, cherishing the warmth. To daze myself with marijuana in my lover's bed, awaiting her returning to my sad self. To drink until I do not remember the shadows of my depths, savoring the burn down my throat and the warmth in my body. To draw the knife across my skin over and over, giggling to myself under the burning water. To hold myself without dignity as I force my body to vomit against its will, shaking when I finally stand.

I want out. Just for a little while.