💚 diary #10 ❤️ 6/11/2024 💚

BIG yawn. i didn't write yesterday but that's ok i was really really tired and i'm tired rn. it's 11:48 at night right now and i went to bed at like 1? and i got up today at 8ish because of my cats and fed them. then i showered and got ready for class and study group. i really didn't wanna go, and my hair was misbehaving. i wanted to put it into two braids but it just wouldn't look right on the side. i did get it go right eventually though AND. i wasn't even late to my study group !!! yaaaay !!

the group is run by this one girl who took this class with the same teacher. when i got there, the girl with piercings and black hair and the talkative girl was there. we did some naming of compounds and figures and drew a couple of things. then the tutor left to get some paper and two other girls showed up, and we did like a practice quiz together. one of the two new girls was SOOO dramatic and sassy to her friend when she got something wrong. me and piercings girl paired up to solve the quiz and we got every question right !!!!! then they talked about coming to the thursday night group (which i cannot attend) and apparently there's a different tutor for that time that they (piercings and talkative girl) both know and she's an awful person. as in making out with people and stealing their boyfriends and PUNCHING PEOPLE ON CAMPUS ??????

i can't beliebe i almost forgot that my "boyfriend" sent me flowers this morning. he paid . to have flowers. shipped and delivered . to my house . because he couldn't bring them himself . and he put a note in them for me.

younger me would have DIED to have this happen but the flowers just make me sad. i don't really like him as a boyfriend. i love being his friend but not his girlfriend. but he's so nice? how many girls get a boyfriend who is nice, respectful, WANTS you,  is kind, buys you food and flowers, has a cool car, and all the other girls think is cute and moved away to a really fancy cool vacation spot and is like obsessed with you ?????

a lesbian, apparently

i literally don't know what to do he deserves a better girl and i deserve someone who i really like and would cry to recieve flowers from. poppy said to pretend they were from her and so i did, which i guess helped, but i just wish we had some one better for each other 

anyway . class went by so slowly and i was really sleepy and hungry even though i ate before i left. our teacher let us inspect this little ball and stick wooden block thing from his office which was neat. and then at the end of class he said that our lab NEEDED 3 PEOPLE IN IT SO GET INTO GROUPS OF 3 and i wanted to die

so anyway i ran downstairs to get some cheezits from the vending machine since iwas hungry and then i came back upstairs and talked with some people about college plans. most of them were med lab science, where they work in a hospital analyzing blood samples and pee and stuff. i want to be a pharmacist and i think that it's cool that we're all gonna work together. then our teacher was late because he was taking a smoke break 

so this one really nice girl asked to join our group so i said sure !! then my lab partner took off so i was with her and her lab partner. one of them was my lab partner from last fall so it was nice to see her. the new girl kept staring at me though and looking away so i just. i hope she is gay . and we can fall in love and kiss . she was actually taller than me and she has a bunch of freckles AND she has these really fancy lab goggles that were pink and came in a carrying case so i'm gonna get some for myself since mine are from home depot

old lab partner also bought some new goggles since she left hers at home andthen our teacher was like "we don't need these today" so

the experiment was very simple. fill these tiny tiny tiny tubes with a known substance and unknown substance then put them in a special device and let them melt. so that's what we did. it was kind of boring and IT TOOK LIKE AN HOUR FOR SOME REASON ????? all we did was write down and look at temperatures and look for when it melted but it took SO LONGGG OMGGGG

i don't even remember what else we did or what happened it just took FOREVER

so yeah then we put away the little melting device and i went home. spotify decided to play ddlc songs for some reason and i thought of my friend bread since she just played that game

after igot home i ate a bowl of mac and cheese and then took like a 30 minute nap and when i woke up i was home alone. so i studied a little bit, ate ice cream, fed my cats...... and i also called my bf. he bought a new shirt and some legos at the store and wetalked about hollow knight and deltarune. apparently, fangamer has the rights to stardew valley and omori which is really cool!!!!!

so yeah i was trying to get him to pick something from the hollow knight section so i could secretly buy it for him but he caught on and said he'd rather buy a shirt himself so he can make sure it fits. but i bought a shirt for him and it fit just fine

though he loves to work out and in the photo he sent me his arms were even bigger than last time SO?

uhmm then my parents got home with burger king for me and i got a whopper which i didnt realize was so big and it had so much mayo on it and also pickles ( i don't like pickles) Despite all this it was REALLY GOOD......

anyway then i played minecraft and decided to give bikini kill a try. it makes me think of susie for some reason and idk i love them i think they're neat. makes me feel gayer than i already am (edit: why do they have like 30 covers of rebel girl LOSDFKSOA?????)

okay i'm back i was getting chocolate milk i didn't put enough sauce in but it's okay i had ice cream today so 

yknow i told my parents to get burger king since it reminds me of omo. hes been on my mind a lot since that dream and idk i miss him so bad. i bet i'm still friends with him on vr chat, but idk if i should talk to him. i really really miss him. one night we were talking and his parents brought home burger king and he said it was one of the few american things they have in brazil

what is it with brazilians breaking my heart man i wanna cry

okay well i'm going to procrasinate on going to bed for longer bc idont want to GOOD NIGHT

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Listening To: Bikini Kill - Outta Me
Mood: Fine
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