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As you all know I have this super cool thing being chronically ill, but that combined with being an artist of multiple types has given me a very unique perspective that despite the pain feels very worth it. I have loved creating song lyrics and ideas my whole life but I am lucky enough to finally be able to put these thoughts into action. However as time goes on I am faced with my health trying to kill out creativity and getting these thoughts and ideas to become real.
I am faced with the fact that I can barely get out of bed anymore, it's somewhat similar to hospital care where I need someone else to get my meals most of the time. I've brought my guitar to my bedside, but its difficult to even pick it up. Despite these challenges, its only brought me more inspiration for music. Most of my songs that I've written have had at least an underlying theme of mental health, or health, declining during a relationship or dealing with it.
I have been so lucky to have my partner, and lover, Marsh here for me during all of these ups and downs of my health. Even though people may think that healthy relationships mean happy times always, its much more than that. My health, not only physical, has brought a lot of hardship upon us. It's difficult, and rewarding. Our relationship has deepened yet my ever declining health. Getting to share my experience in the form of music has cut so deep that its difficult to even recover.
Even with how soul aching it is to scream my lovers name with the pain that no amount of lesson, there is a need deep inside to keep writing. For so many chronically ill people that are ignored in their day to day life, even outside of test results with no indicated problems, that they can love too. That disabled people are just as important, to have an outlet being something that most people can understand, is amazing in of itself.
So despite my aching joints, I pick up my guitar, and sing another song.
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