💚 diary #8 ❤️ 6/8/2024 💚

hi guys i kind of don't remember what i did today?????

i remember i woke deciding i was gonna take care of myself today..... and I DID kind of. washed my face, put on clean clothes, washed clothes, brushed my teeth....... i just didn't wake up early. i've been kind of sad lately and going to bed late so i think i needed to just take care of myself. and i feel better !!! it was just a little hard. i just didn't study, but that's okay, i'll get to it tommorrow after church and before this meeting. though, i'm gonna bake cookies as well SO maybe i won't get to it. i don't have any class besides just the one though so it'll be okay!!!!

i think the best thing that happened today was my friend/roommate FOUND A SECOND KITTEN IN HER YARD. it looks like the other kitten she found, but she thought its leg was broken. so they took both kittens to the vet, and they're both girls, and the broken leg is fine. she's gonna keep both and put them in her apartment. i might have time tommorrow to go see them and  i REALLY hope i get to go

i don't remember doing much of anything today. i started working on a minecraft party. originally it was going to be like a 1950s red carpet event but my friend (and target audience) said she'd rather go to an 80s roller rink so that's why i' m gonna do !!! i think it loooks cute rn, i'm gonna add an arcade, bowling alley, and food area. i might cut the bowling alley though, and adjust the layout of the whole thing. the layout is what's getting me, i hate it so much but i don't know how to fix it

had tacos for dinner tonight but i cooked the meat, and then i fed some of the meat to my cat since it's his favourite. he wouldn't eat it until i put it on the floor and turned away. then he was all over it. i also showed him my dad's pet ant and he thoguht it was neat

my mom chewed me and my sister out for the messy computer room, and said my desk was a distaster. but i have lotion, like five tubes of chapstick, and my glasses on there. the only two things that could really be counted as trash are this little piece of ribbon i'm attached to and the instruction manual for my headphones

so i had to clean that room and other stuff

oh, i got spider-gwen in mudae today and i think my friend was mad at me.. but i give her stuff all the time. 

man i'm listening to this song i haven't listened to since probably 2020, and the first line is like "yesterday felt like my graduation" and i haven't listened to this song since before that day

i miss 2018-2020 so much. ever since 2020 things have been so different in the world and in my life, and i don't like the after of it all. i feel permenantly stuck as like a 14-15 year old because that's how old i was when a lot of traumatic stuff happened to me and when we went into lockdown because of covid

i kinda wish i had had a normal childhood like the rest of my friends. i mean, i was homeschooled, which isn't normal, but so were they. the only thing different is that i was, and still am, queer. and i knew a lot of horrible people that did stuff to me and despite this i'm still a child, like i became frozen in time. everyone else is now getting jobs and all they care about is dating. no one gets excited over anything anymore. i still wonder if that's a trauma thing

i stil wonder if what i went through WAS trauma. but i surpressed a lot of my memories and it still scares me to think about and talk about so Maybe 

idk what else to say so i'm gonna go take care of my petz and play minecraft andmaybe study okay byeee <3 <3

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Listening To: LOONA - LOONATIC
Mood: Alright
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