a smattering of poems

♡ All these poems are first published in Outlander Magazine. I will link all of them at the end.

bones 

when scientists find my bones in the ground
i hope they understand the experiences that made me myself
display me for other people to see
in a history museum, behind glass
with the other humans they found near me

a line goes out the door
everyone clamors to get a shot
peek at my crooked teeth, the left canine chipped slightly
healed nose from falling off my bike
and they say

this was someone who loved
and someone who lost
they were born and they died
but in between,
they truly lived

so that in this life, if i’m not remembered
i’ll be immortalized with the idea of being human
and remind someone that we’re all the same

the crime of being alive
is something we all go through together
just separated by time
Because the world decided
we’re all the same somehow
Just bones under muscle and skin
and the memories that
make us human

modern prometheus

you clawed stretch marks into my face
roadmaps stretch planes of my back
bruised, broken, bathed in sweat
rearranged my insides to your liking
dr frankenstein, I’m your monster
build me into the ultimate fantasy
discarded the unnecessary parts

lightning struck my fancy
electrified my heart, beats arrhythmic rhythms
crisp, blackened edges
scars stretched over my body like tree roots
rot seeped, turned into sepsis
shaky foundation for a love so fragile
touched up my paper skin with absorene
keep it from turning to dust

alchemist love, chemical honeymoons
given no tongue to speak
stitched back together
mangled limbs, atrophied muscles
covered in chanel hospital gowns and pearl neck bolts
permanent smile lines and rosy cheeks

a mad scientist’s experiment
companionship created in test tubes
beating my still undead heart
filling metallic lungs with air I don’t need

poked and prodded with pitchforks
gaslit in torch blazes at my feet
a creation feels no happiness in existing
the version of me
that makes him happy
so, devour my body whole
suffocate me in smoke
burn the ashes of my bones
gnaw out a chunk of neck
spit it out on the carpet
let me rest once again

Midwest Confessions

Hank Williams cuts in and out on the old truck radio
Picks up pebbles on the dirt road and tosses them at grazing cows
Corn stalks sway in the afternoon breeze
Blue expanses of sky stretch forever
“Gun Emporium and Mega Church next left”
Driving until eternity, a maze of purgatory

I was five when Daddy killed a chicken in front of me
Ran into the prairie grass to escape his wrath
Praying to be Dorothy, make friends with the scarecrows
Find my own Wizard from Oz
Spring twisters drop me into a better life
Tractor tire tracks towards freedom

The first girl I ever kissed was behind the pig barn
She had a gap in her teeth and a face of freckles
Cracked lips mingled with the taste of cigarette smoke
And stale Kwik Trip coffee
She whispered that she loved me
I never said it back

Maybe I’ll return there one day
Driving down I-70, bugs hitting the windshield
With “Lovesick Blues” blaring from my beat-up sedan
As I remember the taste of you
And the past I ran from

bury me

I only make love to you in the daylight
When the sun dances on your freckled skin
Sweat stained silk bed sheets
I bury myself between your legs

Hold my head with your thighs
My mind stops racing, hands stop shaking
I can feel your rapid heartbeat in my veins
Hear the hushed whimpers and throaty moans
Swallow any hesitation with a tug of my hair

Open your petals up and cover myself in pollen
Dine on your body, devour you whole
On my knees, reciting prayers to appease you
Dig my fingers into your hips like a ship that needs mooring

Your pleasure reanimates my rotting body
Fills the rose that left my cheeks long ago
My icy hands become flushed again
Becoming more human with each plea and beg
See us both fully as the beings we are

I can only hold you in the night
Because I know you’ll leave me again
Cold and forgotten, discarded in the moonlight
Withdrawals from the addiction that sits at your core

So I wrap my arms around your body
And I hold on tight
So you’ll never let go,
and let me decay again.

LINKS

- bones

- modern prometheus

- Midwest Confessions

- bury me