mourning what never was

i cant look upon this particular all and not my heart be seared

but god know, ive burned it back

like a cigarette put out on its sleeve 

on its shoulder

on my tongue.

i count the days before before i leave the city,

but i dont know when the city will leave me.

mourning what never was

mourning what never was.

and id be lying if i said i wouldnt relive the summers that, for once,

didnt ache.

i cant look back but its so hard to do,

when the bees swarm all my lefts.