Weird strategies

I'm not really sure how to do this; it's my first blog ever. I wanted to talk a bit about what I've been going through this year. I'm 15, and up until this year, no one had ever asked me out. But this year, I've been asked out three times, and each time... it didn't end well.

I don't want to get into anything too controversial, but something really weird happened, and I don't know how to take it. The first guy who asked me out totally caught me off guard. He asked to talk to me out of the blue while I was at school. He's a year older than me, but as soon as he started talking, I was stunned. I couldn't say a single word because I never thought he'd ask me if I wanted to go on a date. In the end, my lack of neuromotor response (for lack of a better term, haha) made it clear to him that nothing was going to happen between us.

I felt horrible, so bad and out of place for him. I spent a couple of days mentally rehearsing how to apologize and also how to tell him I wasn't really interested. But then, two days later, another guy came up with the same idea. This time, I could at least speak and explain that it was cool, but we didn't know each other, and honestly, I'm not comfortable going on dates with someone I don't know at all. However, a friend told me that the second guy was friends with the first guy who asked me out. And to make a long story short, the third guy was also friends with the other two.

My anxiety skyrocketed at this. Just the idea of being "courted" by three friends, like they were seeing who could "get" me, made me feel sick. I'm not one of those people who think all guys are monsters who just want "one thing," but I do recognize that I had bad luck with these three.

The only thing that makes this worth writing about in a personal blog is that today... the first guy showed up at my parents' bakery. I sometimes help out at the business, so I tried to hide. But my dad was super impressed with him and asked me several times if I had something going on with him, like a romance or something. Beyond the overwhelming embarrassment I felt, I avoided telling the whole story. Mostly because if he finds out, he’ll probably memorize their faces and try to teach them a lesson about respecting people. So, I try not to worry my parents; they take care of me a lot, they are ok withe the idea of me having dates, but I feel a bit guilty that they think I can't take care of myself.

But anyway, at this point, to you who's reading this, what do you think? Why do these animalistic seduction competitions happen? Do you think I'm a bit silly for worrying about these things?

I guess it's not the best way to start a personal blog, haha... ahh... better go take a shower.