Assexual

I hate the fact that I'm asexual, I feel excluded from a lot of things and I hate it SO MUCH, hearing my friends talk about sex (believe me, it's not cool or comfortable but I feel left out of it, as well as feeling embarrassed) normally I don't feel ashamed to say I'm asexual, but sometimes I feel like I'm not normal, I just hate sex and the things involved, I can't feel like doing it and doing it. IT HURTS, for some fucking stupid reason, I cry. At night thinking that no one will ever truly get involved with me and love me because I don't like having sex and that's something human beings do, sometimes I think that I still have to do it to a romantic partner. You know when you make a sandwich for a friend, you don't want to do it, but you do it to please them, and I feel exactly that way about sex, it's suffocating not to feel anything sexually