dating sucks butt

This is literally my first blog lol i haven't been here in like ten months but I'm honestly just like super fucking sad at work me and me ex bf broke up like a month our two ago and I decided to get back into the dating world because I was with this guy for a year and it was honestly a complete waste of my life. First thing first he never cared about me or my well being he mainly focused on cosplaying and once we broke up I thought I made a mistake cause I did love him and when I told him I did make one he was like well I'm to busy to fix our relationship I need to focus on my cosplays and the conventions I'm going too so like just wait a couple of months and ill be back I guess and I'm like aw hell nah your gonna pick playing dress up OVER ME?! like damn I thought I was your everything I guess not. He also didn't support me in bettering my mental health even though it was for him cause he was always complaining about my anger issues or my paranoia and turns out I got diagnosed WITH BIPOLAR AND PSYCHOSIS like honestly lol I'm kinda still in denial about it but that is another story for another blog. Overall he was good towards me but I wasn't  important to him and I wish I was honestly in all my relationships I've never been important I was either seen as an object or just as nothing.

But this isn't the main reason of why I'm so bumed out so I started a new dating app called hinge that my friends have told me about and I said why not and I like kinda have a specific type of guy girls not rlly but i found this one guy who was exactly my type and we started talking and he was super sweet and nice and funny and then the next day we went on a date we went to the gym cause he likes working out and he's like kinda buff but with a dad bod which i thought was super cutie patootie and then we got boba and went to the mall and then we kissed and stuff in the back of my car like i was happy it was super nice and I was honestly starting to really like him but then the next day he barely spoke me to then yesterday was when it went down hill we were only like dirty talking in text the whole day with very minimal conversation and we decided to call at night which i waited for this man to call me at 2:00 am cause I'm gonna be real i was starting to get attached and he was also saying things that made me think he liked me back about how much he wanted kiss me or hold me type shit but we have been talking dirty the whole day so i ask hey is this like an only a one a done thing like do you even find me attractive like what is this and he said he doesn't find me attractive because of the fact I'm plus sized and he doesn't like fat girls. I honestly feel stupid he said he only kept talking to me because he felt bad for me idk what to do. I wanna try and get on hinge again just to move on from this bad experience. I just feel terrible even tho it was for a couple of days I literally got trolled i guess lol.