☆⋆｡a lil confused𖦹°‧★

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It really is hard to think sometimes. Sometimes it’s hard to tell what’s real or not. I keep getting up, thinking my name is being called at random times throughout the day, or think someone is knocking at the door. It’s frustrating.

My dogs seem to help out, though. They’ll run over or bark if someone is knocking. Sometimes at least. But they can’t help me when I see things. Sometimes I know it’s not real. Other times, it’s like my reality is warped with theirs. Sometimes I feel stuck in between those two worlds and I don’t know what to do.

It happened in public before. Since I do school online K12, I have to take the state test at this hotel. It’s huge, and has glass elevators. Well, when I finished my test, instead of being walked down to meet my mom, I had to go alone. I had already been hearing things a few hours before, but I was able to brush it off since so many people was around. But I was alone this time. It hurt to think, it felt as if the world was growing bigger and bigger, and I was shrinking. I stayed in that elevator for nearly three extra minutes once I got down from the sixth floor. It felt like maggots were crawling into my skin. Now, since I ended up failing one of my state tests (algebra) I have to go back. I don’t want to.

Not only that, eating has been difficult too. It’s normal to not like feeling full, right? I just don’t want to eat anymore. I hate eating.