saturday

i spent 7% of today

studying

and 93%

lazing

i guess its normal for someone my age

i hope

but maaybeee my laziness is a problem

..

i gave oatmeal a try again today

i tried it a while ago, 

with instant oats

now i have the 'high quality kind'

and its vegan 

too

i thought all seeds were vegan

it was also strawberry flavored

i cooked it in a pot this time

instead of microwave 

with milk

instead of water

and it was super boring

and it tasted boring

i put it in the fridge

im trying to read books and papers

but my brain doesnt want

to

i dont care about th

e open society and its enemies

or the paranoid style 

in american politics

so i want to think about

my ambitions

a

nd fun things

and cute things

and happy things

i want to start journaling again

i have too many notebooks

and school is ending 

soon

i want to be happy

why is it so difficult to relax?