Confessions of A Ghost

it’s bizarre.

being like a ghost

nothing but a mere background character 

in the lives of people,

nothing more than a shadow

with not much purpose 

other than standing behind others

the effect of the shadow of someone

in the spotlight.

and that darkness

is scary.

scary, and cold and lonely

and you don’t like it there

not anymore.

you wish 

you were in the center

the spotlight.

even for a bit just

to see how it feels

to receive people’s attention

and praise

to bask in it.

even for a bit…

and yet, you can’t.

you can’t take it

the lights are too bright

almost blinding, 

and the crowd too big.

your anxiety

it’s bubbling up in your chest

something akin to shaken soda

ready to burst

and take you over.

come up to your mouth

and choke you,

leaving you on your knees

coughing and gasping 

desperately wishing

you could go back.

back to your previous state

being on the background,

calm.

but how can you wish

for something you already have?

for you’re nothing but a ghost

a phantom,

in people’s lives

yours included.