pride month musings

well, its the first day of pride month. and thats cool - im queer and all - but pride month tends to leave me feeling more empty than prideful.

i know closeted people are closeted, and we dont deserve to be catered to if we arent going to be part of the community - even if we cant be - but its still a bit upsetting to see the reminder that i cant be myself. i can have online pride all i want, but theres not much enjoyment in it when my chest is too big to bind with just a sports bra and my family will never know my real name. most people i know in real life are out to the people around them. and even if they arent fully accepted, which i get, theyre still out.

it sucks. all my friends will be going to pride parades this year again. ive never been to one. i just want to know what the fuss is about. and im not saying that people cant celebrate pride month. im happy in my own way for the people who can. do what you want to do. i love all of you guys.

but pride month is less fun when you cant be part of it