about feelin like shit

so my life has been really just a pain in the ass for me lately cuz of my thoughts and i would like to share a little rant here

im kinda lost tryin to convey a meaning for my life and thinking about the future and stuff... also thinking about how our generation is basically fucked because of high housing prices and expensive everyday needs, and the fact that we just live in a constant state of ignorance just tapping away our lives in our phones checking social media and mindlessly following people who are just controlling us day by day saying shit like “hUr dUR wE lIVe IN tHe MaTRiX!!!1!!” and people whose lives are basically an internet persona like theyre not real... its bullshit really, specially if you live in a third world country like mine where people are become more and more dumbasses because of dumbasses in our state

because working at my familys store sucks major horsedick and focusing in studying is hard af, im just lost in life in general... like sure someone older than me is going to say that theyve also been in the same place as me but hey they at least found somehing to do with their lives. i probably have a developmental disabillity or something because is just that hard to study and do good in tests and learn more. why change if our lives are just meaningless anyways yknow.

i started smoking again to cope with the stress and shit but its not helping that much... i hate the smell of cigarettes emanating from my body and the awful aftertaste of the smoke and nicotine in my mouth. fuck this.