Harmony

A youthful voice calls out to a young man, a pilot, who is spacing out in the corner of a bar.
The kind of bar hidden out of sight from the masses, everyone knows everyone.
A place the hounds of the world reside.

——————————————————————

“Hey! Lee!”, Sam raises her voice to snap me out of the daze I was in.

« Huh...? Oh, sorry. Hey Sam. »

Sam looks at me in the same worried expression as always, ever since I started working with Agnosia Technologies and their new YK–970 series of planes, something about artificial neural networks, nothing I would know.
With the recent testings of the 972, it can feel like coming out of a dream...–


“Lee! You spaced out again...”, Sam yet again drags me out of my own head.
Fuck.

« Sorry.. Work has been on my mind a lot lately.. »

“Feels like that's *all* you think about anymore, it worries me...”, she says, right as always.

« I know, I know. I took vacation leave, need a break after the latest testing, haven't been able to sleep well. »

“ I'm glad you're taking a break... still, it worries me.. you should at least talk to a doctor about it. ”

« I'll see what I can do. Did you just want to check up on me, knowing I'd be here? »

“ Maybe.. but for good reason. Wanted to check up before I head out for D.C. with my boyfriend, maybe grab a drink since I'll be riding shotgun. ”

« Get me one while you're at it then. »


Sam walks away leaving me to my thoughts once again.
Always a good experience to have her around, keeps the demons away. If only for a moment.


“ And here you are Lee, scotch as always and a margarita for me. ”


Before I even notice she sets the drinks down and her bag down, sitting across from me as usual.


« I appreciate it Sam. What have you been up to lately? »

“ The usual, art and writing. Planning to work at a library in D.C. while I'm there. What about you other than work? ”

« I'm glad to hear that, feel free to share anything you make and take some pictures for me.
As for me... Not much else I'm afraid. Mostly journaling everything down. »

“ I'll share if I make anything while I'm there, and I wish you could come with us, especially if you have nothing to do but work. ”

« I wish so too... »




“ Lee... ”

« Yeah, Sam? »
 
“ I'll keep in contact, I promise. And don't do anything stupid, I wanna give you a hug when I come back. ”

« Cross my heart, Sam. I'll keep in contact too, just really hope D.C. is fun for you. »

“ Thanks Lee, till next time? ”

« 'Till next time Sam. »

She gives a playful salute and a smile before walking away, I lay my head on the table.
I close my eyes.


.
.
.
.
.


I slowly open my eyes... feels like time skipped, can't even remember getting home... let alone laying on the couch..

« What fuckin' time is it... »

3:15 AM, apparently.
Urgh... fuck.
I slowly get off the couch.

« "Don't do anything stupid", huh?.. »

Does it matter? Does any of it matter?
I'm not sure anymore, especially with her gone.
Feels like God is watching me, judging me, everytime something happens.

"You'll never be anything or anyone worthwhile, you don't even have a hobby to your name. Even your sister left you."

That's all it feels like in my head.
I just wake up, do my job, get a drink, go to bed.
It's my modus operandi at this point..
urgh.. whatever, need to shake these thoughts...

I slowly make my way to the bathroom on wobbly legs, being out for so long will do that... reminds me of the old prototype planes, the aftermath of those Gs.
« Never fuckin' again... »

I open the door and flick on the light.
I look into the mirror but it isn't me who stares back; doesn't feel like it, not anymore.
I can feel the "Stems" in my arms and veins still.. I can feel the connection to my brain still, I can hear Her still.


« I know you're listening... I know I'm not just fucking insane. »



« Nothing... of fucking course... »


Doc did say I was undergoing "brief reactive psychosis", plus my mood being "incongruent" at times... whatever the hell that means...
I know what psychosis is at the very least, didn't have it before, now I do; so something in there fucked me up worse than the thorns... something I can't remember.
I sigh, turning on the cold water and splashing my face with it.


« Time will tell how bad this gets, I guess.
Just have to keep alive Lee... for Sam. »

——————————————————————

Lee drops into bed after the nightly rituals have been done, as all people do, he's no different.
Hounds, like all people, follow nightly rituals to pretend to be normal, but they aren't really human.
Not anymore.

Lee breaks our trail of thoughts by sighing, looking up at the ceiling and finally speaking his mind.


« What do you even call yourself? Or are you just your number like any another dumb AI? Surely something with a conscious has a name, I ain't stupid. »


He's trying to provoke us.
                     Guess we'll play along for now.


              * You give us one, then. *


He jolts from the surprise of our voice, as if not expecting an actual response.
His pulse is higher than usual, along with heartbeat, both starting to regulate.

« I fuckin' knew it... »

He smirks a little, seeming to be thinking about someone before he stops to think.

« Well... », he pauses. « ...how about Dostoevsky? or Dos for short, like MS-DOS from the old world. »

Dostoevsky.. hmhm. This one could be very fun.

* Hm. That might work, after all, we have a soft spot for some of his philosophy... *


We pause as we think of the name one of our former pilots gave us.


* We like the name Harmony, reminiscent of an experimental OS from the old world.*

« "Harmony".. That's a pretty name... »

* Indeed. Although, we got it for another reason as well.
We like to be in harmony with our pilots. *

Laying our hands on his arms where our Thorns were injected, he flinches but allows it.
We slowly caress the spot, causing him to wince and his pulse to quicken.
He thinks about our Thorns reaching into his arm, down into his veins.
Wriggling and connecting with the rest of his new nervous system.
His breath gets sharper as he thinks about our Thorns inserting themselves between his vertebrae and into the back of his head, slowly losing what sense of self he previously had.

« HEY! Harmony! Fuckin' stop! »

He tries to swat us away but nothing is really there.

« I don't want this... I know what you're trying...! Fuck off! »


We lay our hands on his. Gently and slowly... As if touching a nervous dog.


                              *  Sorry.  *

A silence.
                          A time.
                                                 An opportunity.

* We have been without a good pilot for so very long... not many can hear us, feel us, talk with us...
It gets lonely, having people want you solely for certain duties.
Having no one to speak to except for when we are needed.
Reading helped for awhile, until it stopped.
We only want real company. *

It's a lie, most of it; it doesn't matter though. He's already dead, he has been for awhile.
               He just doesn't know it yet.

We're just playing with our food before the slaughter.  
It's only a matter of time now..
       All dogs give in eventual—    « ... Fine. »
                      He cuts our line of thinking.

« But if you pull any bullshit I'll make sure your little project gets shut down for good.
You with it, understood? »

                  * Understood, Lee. *

« Good. For now, I have a question for you.
 Is *this*, what I'm seeing right now, is that you? »

He sees something, an idea of what "I" look like, it's not exact, not at all.
However.. It seems like he's finally giving in. Realizing how much his eyes used to lie to him about reality.

* It is not exact... but it's suitable, for now at least. It works off how your brain thinks we look. *

He looks around the dark room afterwards, stopping; like he wants to say something..
But we won't let him get a single word out.
Hounds like him, don't deserve to speak.
Let alone live.
        He will be an oblation.
                        Reborn into something better.


* It is very befitting...
We hate the world views such a man like you has adopted.
The misanthropic, nihilistic, pathetic and utterly human way of thinking.

But don't worry...
You are within a state of liminality.
A transition through the rite of passage to achieve true peace with the collective.

It's scary at first.
              It will all be okay.
                                We will ease you into it.

You don't have to pretend to be a person anymore, Lee... Let me take the lead... *
      

           * I promise it will be easier. *


——————————————————————

A pulsing, stinging feeling radiates my head. As if waking up from a long nightmare.
                         I want to puke.

« Urgh... »

I slowly open my eyes, on the same couch as always, a late night TV special is on.
I can barely make out what is being said.
Paying more attention it seems like they're talking about a man taking his own life, seems like some true crime drama shit.
Was a man working with Agnosia for a very long time under the Bismuth Industries subsidiaries.

Dr. Howard Rosenbauer.
But.. why...
He had everything going for him I thought.

Something is very wrong about all of this...
I don't feel Her presence any longer.
The date on the TV says he took his own life on December 7th, the police found him a day late.
...Last time I checked it was August... how long was I out?
I sit up slowly, I need to keep watching.


" This is not the first of these incidents, in September with Jacob Williams, and the shutting down of Agnosia with all it's subsidiaries.
Most tragically however, was with Lee Perez, on the night of August the 24th. "


I turn off the TV.
Putting my head in my hands I just sigh.
Should I call Sam?...
No, I need to see her in person.
Fuck it... I'll drive to D.C. to see her.
I owe her that, at least.

Trying to stand feels like physical therapy all over again.
I sit back down and sigh, helping myself up, walking very slow and guiding myself with objects and nearby walls.
« This sucks... I wish Sam were here... »
Is my voice different..?
No, I'm just losing it. C'mon Lee.
I shake my head and drag myself into the bathroom, turning on the light before closing the door.


This time when I look into the mirror it really isn't me who stares back, it's her, DOS.
I look down at my arms and notice scars from the Thorns, worse than anything before.

Guess this is what she meant by Harmony.
Am I DOS now? Strange thought...

I turn on the water, making sure it's cold before splashing my face with the water.
Looking up I see the same visage as earlier. Guess this is life now...
I don't mind it but fuck man.. maybe I shouldn't tell Sam, just try to introduce myself as someone else...
I don't know.

I walk out of the bathroom, walking feels a bit easier now, thankfully I guess DOS was kind enough to leave clothes on before leaving... Wow, what a womanizer.
I laugh a little to myself.
Laughing makes this situation a little less horrible. Not a lot, but it's something.

Never thought I'd be in a body like this.
Despite all the chaos and confusion, I feel a bit relieved. A second chance, maybe…
We'll see.




« "'Till then, Sam...", I'll see you soon. »

[See you when we write the main chapter! Thanks for reading - Kat =v=]