my life update

went to the gp today and got a two week leave certificate of school. i am going to see a dermatologist tomorrow because of my god awful skin. also, my gp said that i have to get a therapist. i am going to see the gp again next week i think of thursday for something, i forgot what. also, i have my stupid english narrative draft due (which i like writing and creative stuff, so i guess that is okay.)

i wanna go back to school because i HATE being behind on school work, but i also don't want to go back to school lol. my friend that used to homeschool is coming to my school on monday next week so i really want to go because i haven't seen her in a while. it isn't like we aren't close or anything, she has been my best friend for nine years. she and another friend has asked me to hang out a couple times, and i wanted to, but i could never really be motivated to do it 😥😥😥🥺🥺🥺

i think I might have short term memory or something 😦😦😦 i am not good at remembering things, even if it is simple.

 when i was talking to my gp, i noticed how weirdly i talk to people who aren't close. my words are so slow and weird, a lot of it being me mumbling. honestly, when I went to my gp today it was probably the first time actually talking about how i feel to someone. for years i have been feeling depressed and anxious, and i want to get better so i can hang out with my best friend and my friend from primary school, because i love them a lot and i want to see them.

there is another "friend" i have as well. while my best friend has been home schooled, she is the one i hang out with at school. this year i am in a class by myself, so that is probably why my mental health is just worsening around this time. i actually don't like the friend i hang out with at school. my best friend and i trash talk her behind her back, which i know is bad, but still. my best friend and i have known this girl for nine years, but she became our friend last year. i don't FULLY hate her, it is like a 50/50 thing, a love hate relationship.

i'm making a strawpage. it looks like ass, but oh well.