vent

today's been shit. 

firstly, i indeed studied but somehow i still procrastinated. my internet addiction seems to go far but I can't help it since i have nothing much to do, i'm afraid my parents might mock me or demotivate me whenever i'm trying to do something. i have my semester exams tomorrow, it's a really tough paper, idk what to do.

secondly, my crush, who's also a really good friend of mine, didn't text me the whole day. but i remembered our last text which is now giving me anxiety because my ex boyfriend, whom i was in a ldr for a week only, had a similar conversation with me before he ghosted me. both talked about their health. my ex said he was depressed so he needed time to process it. from the day onwards he blocked me on instagram and never texted me on discord ever since. my crush said that he caught a cold. i told him to take rest. he only left me on read and didn't text back. i don't feel like loving a person anymore. 

anyway, hopefully i do atleast good tomorrow. if not good, average is enough.