absurdism

bro i literally can NOT deal with constantly having to think about absurdism. like, i wake up, i think about how there LITERALLY no meaning to life ! like mayb if i had a religion there would be meaning there but i dont. theres a fallacy when you ask yourself why you want something over and over again till u js get to the point of "it just does" and thats not really.. yk. i mean camus says that life is absurd and its absurd to try to find a meaning cuz there literally isnt one.. so like, is the goal to just, not find meaning? is that better? "it just does" is the point of "it doesn't matter" and if everything gets to the "it just does" point then nothing matters and theres no meaning because nothing mattersss. dude why is it so confusing

okay bye i guess