baby fever

i have like a love hate relationship with kids. one one hand i wanna live out my life, be an influencer, go to parties, all that and on the other hand i want to graduate highschool and college to become a mum and live in a big house with windows so big i never have to turn the lights on. and then another part of me wants to be a teen mum and raise a kid with my boyfriend like  what the heck

Is this normal???