the poor

the poor guy didn't deserve everything i put him through or the breakup and its aftermath 

and no matter how desperately i want to make things up to him, i can't. i'll never be able to. that kills me.

i don't know i acted so self-absorbedly and how slothful i was. i don't know how he put up with it for so long. i have no idea how i'll ever be able to wipe this guilt from my conscience.

i'll never be able to thank or repay him. i ruined everything and now i'll have to be forever punished knowing he will marry and share his life with another woman.

and the thing is, i really think that if corona didn't happen and if i never moved back in with my parents for a year, we would still be together.