Loneliness vent/rant

I hate feeling lonely. I'm almost 18 and have barely any friends. I barely leave the house. I want to socialize more yet i hate leaving the house and talking. I want more friends yet i hate people. I feel alone yet i don't try to stop that feeling because I'm not good at socializing and changing that. I wish i could be a normal teenager. I don't hate that I'm autistic sometimes, i just hate how ill never fit in or be able to be like others. I feel so alienated even amongst other autistic people. There's always this emptiness inside... idk i just needed to type this out.