in shambles

hi everyone! long time no see. welcome to my public diary

things are getting better and worse at the same time!!! wow so exciting

on one hand i've been feeling really liberated and i think i'm finally starting to get over the grief of a breakup. obviously grief is not linear but i'm really starting to feel myself healing which is oh so relieving. i also got out of a mess of a depressive episode and have really started taking care of myself again! being able to feel safe and comfortable in my own room again is very nice lol

on the other hand life is still going. the guy i have thing for is in a long term relationship and LIVING with his gf and i feel like SUCH a bitch for liking him even though he's taken, i've just been waiting for it to subside but for some reason the feelings just keep GROWING?? SIR LEAVE ME ALONEEEE.............

one of the members of my group project also has not been doing work and is now sick and not showing up to class. i don't blame him for being sick but i do blame him for not doing his work when we're at such a crucial stage in our project. he's also someone who's been quite creepy and slvtshame-y to me? i didn't do or say anything provocative around him so its really frustrating. he also keeps bring up BOTH of our exes because they live in the same area as each other. maybe i don't want to keep thinking about my ex but thanks! he sits right next to me and it's assigned seating so there is literally nothing i can do :(

i've indulged in some retail therapy and the new items for my room are coming soon! so excited. 

sorry, this one was a bit more of a rant than the others. lifes been really busy, so i apologize to anyone that i've accidentally ignored or haven't been able to respond to! i'm doing my best <3

i hope you all have a great day x

ps; has anyone read shrines of gaiety by kate atkinson? i'm just starting rn and it's super cool!