miss you, ron.

i remember hearing the news that day. the words coming out of my father's mouth. he told me there was no pretty way to say it. i knew what was coming. i filled in the blanks. "he's gone, isn't he?"

he told me so, that my dog had died peacefully in his sleep. that he lived a good life. and he knew he was loved, he knew he was cared for.

the scent still lingers. you know when you get that wet dog smell? it was twice the strength of that.

i remember my mom telling him, "stop chewing on the cupboards." he never chewed the cupboards. he never chewed any surface.

there was a reason why he kept chewing on the surfaces though. he was having a fit. and that was the last time i've ever heard anything about the dog before his death.

my last memory of him was not a pretty one. it hurts. i just wish i was by his side, humming a tune or telling him how much i love him.

i knew the moment would come someday. but i wish there was a moment before the angels came down from heaven and took him where i said, "i love you more than anything."

i cried so much that day.

y'know, i have a habit of closing the doors before my family leaves the house so that the dog wouldn't sneak around.

and my mom told me, "you don't have to do that anymore."

"but i want to," i sobbed.

my eyes were bloodshot, my makeup was a mess, there were tears falling onto my clothes. my mom told me to go wash my face.

i remember seeing myself in the mirror and having that look of pain in my eyes. i couldn't stop crying. i tried to be strong. but goddamn, it was so hard when it was your own pet that you grew up with.

ron was a part of my family since i was 5.

i'm 18 now. and yeah, for a french bulldog, he lived far more than long enough. he never gave up on us. he loved us. and he had fought so hard, so much.

but now, it's time for him to rest. it's time for him to lay down.

his green dog bed will be waiting for him, with soft towels placed all neatly and comfortably, pillows, and stuffed animals and dog toys. he'll have the best meals anyone could ever give him, and he can run around with all of his friends up there in the big blue sky.

ronny, if you can hear me, just know that i miss you, my baby.

i hope i can see your happy face again when i walk through those gates. but for now, i'll be down here. living my life for you.

fly high, my angel. missing you loads. 💕