crushes on older men

talking about loving older people i dont quite mean having celebrity crushes, i mean i fw noah sebastian too, dylan o brien my pookie, oliver sykes, i got like a bunch of celeb crushes i fw so much but thats not the point.

ever had a crush on a teacher? must suck i guess.

ive been in love with him for 11 months straight, itll be a year soon. im graduading soon too, i have to leave him behind.

being in love with a teacher as a student is one of the most challenging but also most meaningful things in my life (if u can call that meaningful). its not even a crush anymore, its actually being in love with him. loving him has taught me so so much. and im not interested in having this teacher - student relationship. im so aware that HE is my teacher, there wont be anything at all. he may be the prettiest man ive ever seen but Oh god being with him would be horrible. not to mention that hes in a relationship already, holy shit thatd be weird.

telling your friends or mates about this is another thing ive noticed may cause difficulties. how would they react?

telling my story others was kind of challenging. some of my friends i Knew theyd respond fine and wont have any problems with that, others thought it was the most horrible thing on earth. is Being in love with him the end of the world? was Looking out for him so bad? made me feel devistated.

hes not even that old. hes almost 30. saying i like a teacher in a romantic way may sound like im into a mid 40-50 year old guy, which im not.

through these 11 months ive realised what love actually means, and it does hurt so so much if you dont receive that love back. hes in a relationship (as mentioned earlier), though i wish them so so so much luck, both deserve the best.

by this blog entry (which is also my first one) i just want to say that your feelings are valid in any way, even if this doesnt have to do with this topic. Obviously this isnt Everything, i mean 11 Months deffo have much more things To talk about, but thats for another time i assume.

if u find yourself in the postition that i am in, im glad to show u that ur not alone.

and i know that this is the most chaotic blog ever (probably) which talks about one thing and hops onto he other thing without anything else ya Know, but whatever.