Star Wars Hotel

alright so I just watched Jenny Nicholson's video on the Star Wars hotel and holy shit lol. I knew that whole ~immersive experience~ was going to be lackluster because it's made by Disney in the 2020s but goddamn. I couldn't stop thinking about how lame and bare bones most of the games and interactions were so I thought of a few activities that Disney could have added to the experience rather than the 'learn dance moves to the generic pop song the diva preformed at dinner' shit that were originally included in the hotel package. Also all of these would be at least an hour long and not 30 min like all the activities of the Star Wars hotel actually were.

An obvious activity for this kind of hotel. Have 3-5 dedicated escape rooms for the guests to play in. For example, for the smuggler storyline, they have to find ways to hack into the various ship systems to allow contraband on board without the crew or the First Order noticing. Like oh first the communications have to be diverted so the ship captain doesn't notice you're using her antennae to communicate with the cloaked smuggling ship just off the stern, and then you have to find a way to divert power to the cargo hold to open the door and let that ship in, and then create a diversion by messing with environmental controls on deck 8 so the crew isn't paying attention to the cargo hold video feeds, etc.

Have a dedicated room where guests can come and go as they please and use Star Wars themed HAM radio devices to listen into the opposing factions' messages. And they have to decode those messages to get extra tidbits for the story. For example, if you side with the First Order, you listen in on a Resistance radio bandwidth and decode the location of where that signal came from. Then you can report what you found to the First Order character actor walking around and they can be like "Ah so you really ARE loyal to our cause. Good work. I'll keep you in mind for when the real show starts >:)"

 

I mean come ON this is so obvious. Yea I know there's a bar already in the hotel but it's so goddamn small and there's not even a live band! It can't be an exact recreation, but make it similar!

 

So one of the things Jenny brings up in her video is how the lightsaber training has no tension because it's just training without any reason for the training. So why not add tension by creating a lightsaber tournament? And if Disney is worried that they'll be held liable for someone's 8 year old getting a bruise or whatever, just have the parents sign a waiver and also give them protective equipment. And whoever wins gets a prize you can only get for that specific event.

Another obvious activity. Add hidden QR codes everywhere that contain audio logs or text files. Some you need to decode but others have no barriers. Like Bioshock. Just to add some flair.

Similar to the communications room mentioned above, but this would be all about the actual tech of Star Wars. Let's say you're in the Resistance story line, and you find/are granted a cache of weapons to use against the First Order, but oh no! Half of these weapons are broken! Well, take them to the repair station and learn how to fix them so your faction can gain an edge! Plus you'll gain a huge chunk of affiliation with whatever character actor is on your team.

21+ only, for the parents and older Star Wars fans/Disney adults. Basically a revamp of the mocktail activity that was already a part of the Star Wars hotel experience, but instead of framing it as regular mocktails, it's framed as you making biochemical weapons/poisons against the other factions. And similar to the actual mocktail lesson, where you try a drink made of 'poison', but chase it with an 'antidote', you can do that but for ALL the drinks. So pretty much every drink is a shot/chaser combo.

I literally thought of all these in less than two hours. I'm no theme park connoisseur but after watching that video I feel SO BAD for all those parents that spent $6000+ on that shitshow. It looks like it had some good moments but damn. I feel like Disney thought "what are activities that are already on real world cruise ships and how can we theme them around Star Wars" rather than what they SHOULD have started with, "What activities already exist in Star Wars and how can we make them into LARP set pieces for our in universe cruise ship". I feel like Mike & Jay in those Half In The Bag videos where they come up with a better plot line of the shitty movie they just watched in five minutes.

I feel like Disney wanted to make a full on LARP experience like when you visit a Renaissance Faire in full regalia or show up for your Pathfinder session with a whole character sheet written down, but they're also too chickenshit & normie so commit to something like that. They don't want to alienate their normie middle-high income nuclear family + Disney Adult demographic with something like LARPing. Boooooo. I've only played two D&D campaigns that never even finished and even I can think of better ~immersive~ activities than what they came up with.