5/20/24 fuck my stupid baka life

ugh .AGH bpd

i keep embarrassing myself majorly atop the mood swings and also ntohing good has happened today . i woke up with an insane headache then got yelled at for not getting up then went to find the kitchen a complete mess then realized we are out of milk so my chai is milkless then i get to my desk and i sit down and i cant focus either . so essentially my suicide note is in the drafting stage

i guess on the bright side ive taken my meds consistently and i havent cut in a while simply because there arent any large bandaids and the normal ones are a pain to use but the latter doesnt feel like a good thing because i hate not being able to

i wish we had money i would do anything for milk and more chai and cat litter nevermind big stuff

surgery in 8 days