5 Stages Of Grief: #1 Denial

I'm stuck in this endless cycle of grief when it comes to Sami. One minute I think we have a chance, the next I'm completely devastated. It's a rollercoaster of emotions.

First, there's the denial. Even after he's left me 4 times, blocked me 4 times, and tried to use me, I can't accept that it's really over. "He has to come back," I tell myself. "We're meant to be together." I cling to that hope, refusing to face the reality that he may never want me the way I want him.

I keep convincing myself that this time will be different, that he's changed and we can make it work. I think about all the ways I can win him back, fix him, make him see that I'm the one for him. Maybe if I just said the right things, did the right things, he'd realize he loves me too.

It's this deluded idea that I can be the one to change him, that my love is special enough to do what no one else could. I have this fantasy that we'll live happily ever after, that he'll come back and everything will be perfect.

But that fantasy always comes crashing down, leaving me feeling hopeless and heartbroken. I know I deserve so much better, but I can't let him go. A part of me will always want him to come back, no matter how many times he's hurt me.

S