small rant

so basically when my junior year of high school started, I was accidentally accepted into a class called "ROTC" and was part of the marine thing. After the first week, I forgot to turn in this document to the sergeant and immediately she yelled at me. (For context, it was due the next day and my mom had to sign the papers, but I forgot and the sergeant got on my case.)

After she yelled at me and I did 30 pushups, my eyes felt dizzy and I couldn't stand at all. my hands were shaky, and I kept on crying. I was like this for 2 weeks and I dropped out of the class because I couldn't take it any longer.

The thing is, I did enjoy some of the class and wish I was strong enough to stay in it, but my anxiety had gotten worse when I kept coming to that class and every time I face the sergeant, I literally wanted to cry and my body shrivels up and my eyes space out.

was it right for me to leave the class or should I have dealt with it for the entire year despite all my problems washing down. I don't mind being yelled at, but it felt weird how I just felt weak at that moment.. I really thought the military was the best choice for me.