5/17/2024

Boring today, everyday since ive noticed life is on a loop; is boring. 

I woke up today as normal and went to school today everything felt off and was boring. 

Even when I am in class or near people it feels like im just floating in the space, like im not really there, group projects are the worst, people avoid me entierly and it's normal now but it's quite a nuisance. People are anoyying, they act like im either not there or, like its the worst thing ever making a big deal of needing to work with the quiet kid. 

I like using music to get through the day without being bothered but i wasnt able to today unfortunately. 

Science was boring, 

I enjoy english, im good at english. I hate the guys I sit next to, they're loud and try and bug me/distract me. They're loud and just suck overall. It baffles me with how disrepectful they are to the teacher and other students around them.

I dont remember lunch that much, just that my best friend threw a small nan bread at my face and it hurt, lol. (it was funny though) 

Geography was okay, i just sat on my phone on tiktok scrolling for the whole hour as i was done all my work, (though i probably should have been studying for the test next tuseday) 

Art, normally my favorite peirod was, sadly the worst today, it was like i was disconnected the whole class, it was a blur all i rememeber was just the overwhelming feeling of sadness heavy on my chest and back almost like i was being crushed.

The walk home was exhausting, it was hot and i was wearing a hoodie with jeans, my bag is hurting my shoulders, i cant wait for summer so i dont need to carry it everywhere till next year.

Ive sat in the closet (my room, i live in a two bedroom apartment with my 17 year old brother and my parents, i sleep on the couch) since ive been home, it's lonely but i prefur to be alone if im honest. I hate the weekends though, always the same. 

-kam