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something i am tired of in queer spaces

"cis men dni"

"i hate all men but ohh trans men are ok :)"

as a trans man......  that just means you see trans men as women

which we aren't :)

"cis men scare me because sex offender" or whatever.  what makes trans men different?  especially trans men on hormones that literally turn your brain into the brain of a cis man?

there is no difference.  if an afab person is on testosterone long enough they count as biologically male in pretty much every situation.  testosterone essentially starts male puberty, which gives you almost all the male things.  and even without hormones, there have been studies with brain scans and things that show trans peoples' brains are more similar to their identified gender.

trans men are men, and hating specifically cis men is thinly veiled transphobia and god damn is it everywhere even in queer spaces

the average cis man does not want to assault you and even if you were wary of cis men for whatever reason, that same reason applies to trans men.  be scared of them as well.  it is less of a dick move to say "men dni" than specifically "cis men dni"

(i saw this on someone's dni and it made me want to throw rocks at them but they had comments off, so now the rock throwing is for everyone i guess)

ok rant over argue with me all you want


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cartiiieeeee :3 (carter)

cartiiieeeee :3 (carter)'s profile picture

genuinely so real


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spasmolytic

spasmolytic's profile picture

common lucien zeal w


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Luan

Luan's profile picture

So real


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dave/marty

dave/marty's profile picture

this!!!


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mitty

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i think it also kinda creates an environment where transgender people have to immediately out themselves to be accepted... which is made even worse by the fact that these people will single them out as different even afterwards. like even if this person is an 'ally' theyre still removing their right to privacy and choice.


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birby (autoplay)

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cis men can be irritating but so can anyone else if they grow up in a way that makes them think its okay to be toxic, rude, bully people or whatever.
we have lots of nice cis male friends, and lot of trans male friends, and well it is true they sometimes gravitate towards different interests and have different lives growing up especially being raised against your own perceived gender versus men who dont have to worry about that and like the 'correct' things.
but that doesnt mean that it happens that all cis men grow up evil hypermasculine predators-in-the-making, and being male is inherently bad unless you were born not amab which is basically just saying being a man is bad no matter what and they dont perceive these trans men the same as cis men.
which is totally ignoring the fact trans men just want to be seen as much as men as cis men are, so differentiating them is just... something is not right about it.
especially feel like the 'cis men' is just "bad men" warning which. is totally ignoring the fact being amab doesnt inherently make you a bad person (in that case itd also be not surprising or out of place if they said dni trans women either... since these only care about their assigned sex ab apparently). and being afab doesnt make you inherently a good person either, because well thats not how life works
and totally ignoring that a lot of toxic people in life are both trans and cis, some men some women. theres plenty of bad women out there trans or cis, and plenty of bad trans guys.
as much as society might favor the cis guys because transphobia (like this) exists, that doesnt mean all cis men are a hivemind and think the same way (and... i do want this to be taken with a grain of salt because sometimes it comes from guys who say things like "not all men" when it comes to nasty things and ignoring problems) and hate everyone and do bad things as part as some collective male consciousness.
like as much as like i said, cis men can be irritating these 'cis men dni' people are possibly the same people who probably idolize cis male celebrities LMAO. or im mistaken, but even then the 'hate all men but only ones who were assigned male at birth' is like... not helpful for you or anyone like okay have fun being alive cis men are everywhere...
if i made a mistake or have an unfinished train of thought let me know i get carried away sometimes


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caweyka

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As a trans man, I routinely diss cis men because they're our biggest killers, rapists, and otherwise oppressors. I think it's a compliment that women feel safe around me, that they trust me. I would never want to be thought of as a potential predator.

You can cape for them as much as you like, but they don't see you as one of them & they think you're a freak who deserves to be "corrected." And that's the majority of men around the world, who decide the laws that affect our rights. Cis men killed Camdyn Rider, Daniel Aston, Rodrigo Ventocilla, they bullied Praveen Nath into suicide, and pushed his partner to attempt the same. I could go on. Who are the ones making the most caricatures of us? The ones bullying us most? It's the cis fucks.

Trans men have to be meaner.


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That's the same kind of thinking transphobes, racists, sexists, and homophobes have. If you want to be more open-minded than them or be better than them in general, then you cannot think like them (aka don't generalize a group of people)

by Monotuch; ; Report

yeah cis men can be pricks. cis men can kill people. so can trans men. so can cis women, trans women and literally anyone of any gender. it's just unlikely that a trans person is going to kill someone based on transphobia.

i don't want to be thought of as a predator and i also don't think we should lump every cis man together as dangerous, but if someone wants to avoid cis men, i want them to avoid me too, because in every way but physical i am a cis man and want to be thought of just as 'man', whatever that label carries

what you're saying is all cis men are dangerous while all trans men are 'safe', which is separating cis and trans where they don't need to be separated - cis and trans (especially on testosterone) brains are really similar, just a trans person is more likely to respect trans people. but also there are plenty of cis women i know who will shout slurs at me in the street and plenty of cis men i'm not at all scared of and are perfectly supportive

though maybe i am biased as at least near me cis women tend to be very vocal about their transphobia while cis men seem not to care so much...

by lucien zeal; ; Report

"Oh nooooo, if you hate this massively-privileged group, you're as bad as a TERF or racist or homophobe." I'm discussing reality, not online. Even so, I couldn't care less about a cis man's discomfort when time after time, they use discomfort or disgust as a reason to kill the trans woman they've paid to fuck.

Both of you are right, I could hate cis women and trans people too - but it's cis men overwhelmingly who are the rapists, killers, and the lawmakers deciding whether or not I get access to HRT. It's sure as hell not a trans man who shoots up gay bars and nightclubs. I don't care if trans men and cis men are the same theoretically. I don't care for brain science. I don't care if I'm on the same T levels. I know that trans men are far less likely, unfathomably far less likely, to kill somebody in a hate crime that I don't think it's worth entertaining the question. You bring up testosterone levels like their hatred for anybody unlike them is some sort of biological factor. It's not. They're bred assholes, and they're rewarded for being assholes.

We are both men, I don't really care beyond that. I don't care if every facet between us could possibly be identical, because the trans and cis experience is fundamentally different. I don't see why we need to aspire to be in as close community with them as possible. As soon as they find out you trans, they'll treat you very differently. You'll know that when you transition and pass as cis in social spaces.

Why are we fighting so hard for a group that fucking hates us?

by caweyka; ; Report

You people need to learn a thing called structural analysis

by caweyka; ; Report

u sound dumb and priviledged..

by Enesi; ; Report

No 'caweyka' u really typed that out thinking u did something?? CIS gay men and trans women in the ballrooms MADE the community u think ur protecting by spewing out this shit. This community, the lgbtq, that you think you're doing such a favor to by saying that, was built off the BACKS of cis gay men , since the 1890s. And please, ur priviledged white ass has never been in the NEIGHBORHOODS of the so called trans women that were killed. so stop talking about shit u don't know about.

by Enesi; ; Report

1. I'm a black boy at risk of homelessness because of my queer identity. You don't know shit about my struggles. I will be killed by my father at some point. What white person has Somali has their mother tongue? Ever checked a kneegrow's bio? Cheers for the assumption tho xx, such a charitable reply!

2. If it's really not fucking obvious, OP and I both meant CISHET men. Who, surprise surprise, are also gay men's biggest killers, and are the reason why a trans woman's life expectancy & life prospects are awful in South America and other aspects of the global south.

Don't fucking lecture me on queer history when you probably don't even know the odds and ends of trans male history & pioneers - P4C, Whittle, Koubek, Robles Avila, etc.

by caweyka; ; Report

You're a black boy being persecuted bcs of ur identity?Tough shit that's like 80% of the lgbt community!!!Ur not different or from some sort of hardship dealing w that. And if u were implying cishet men, you would have said that. 'it's the cis men' 'the cis men' 'the cis fucks' n straight wasn't brought up ONCE.

by Enesi; ; Report

Oh - n I read that bio, you actually never mention being black once! And , you know, there's a thing called white africans! which i assumed u are bcs of how dumb u sound and great assumption thinking ik nothing about trans male history.

by Enesi; ; Report

Ok since u think i'm dumb, let's re read this passage!
'They're bred assholes, and they're rewarded for being assholes.'
This is so weird to say in so many different ways. U kinda sound like the cis men u hate so much rn.. using the word 'bred' ??
Also, like someone further up here said, you sound like a racist / homophobe rn. a cishet man being that doesn't automatically make him a asshole, you're just generalizing a group of people based off ur cliche ass trauma that to be honest... no one really cares about. Almost everyone in the lgbtq+ community has trauma and issues, but some of us choose to focus on getting OUT of it, not making a pity party of ourselves.
And since you're a 'struggling black boy,' instead of choosing white men who really have the upper hand here, u choose to come after straights. it's so dumb like You actually look sad as shit!
You're like a walking time capsule of the fake militants in 2020!

by Enesi; ; Report

'Why are we fighting so hard for a group that fucking hates us?'
WHO do you think made the testosterone or estrogen trans ppl use? WHO do you think made gay marriage, and transitioning officialy legal? WHO do you think operates on trans people , to change their genitals daily?
As much bad cishet people there are in the world, coming for that whole community is js.. dense.

by Enesi; ; Report

Given that you're literally 13 & bought your whole personality from 4 Pinterest boards of funny Whisper app screenshots and Ayesha Erotica remixes from the clock app, it might be hard to put your critical thinking cap on. But I'm gonna comment this anyway, because I think you need it spelt out.

But the reason why I said I was persecuted is because you assumed I was white and privileged enough to be typing away freely and yapping my mouth without thinking first, which surprise surprise, not everybody does.

"White africans exist" what white person lives in SOMALIA? The butt of every joke about piracy, savage failed states, economies? My parents' hometowns are 4000 miles from Johannesburg. Lmao you're not serious.

Going "oh cis people invented this or that" isn't helping your case man. My straight parents fucked and made me, does that mean I can never be critical or complain about them? About their abuse, about their torture of me? Cis people also control and gatekeep trans healthcare and criminalise any other means to secure it. But ohh, they got us Sustanon which means I can never never never criticise the system of transphobia that they benefit from. Again, yapping without thinking. Trying to come after me because I used "bred" (me when I come across the theory of socialisation)? Somebody go grab Alan Ritchson because I found a bigger reacher.

Think: if cis people are oppressing me, why the fuck do I only have to focus on white people?

I know that I'm not special for being significantly less privileged than you, so I don't know why you think you're owning me for being unfortunate? I know that people like me all over the world are in a similar spot for being queer. You called me privileged, said I didn't even go to the "neighbourhoods" trans women were being killed in, but you had to curb your enthusiasm. Quit clogging up my notifications with your shit. I say this kindly - go to a park or pick up a hobby. Quit trying to talk down to people who you know nothing about, because it just leaves you madder than before. You too young to be doing this.

by caweyka; ; Report

'Given that you're literally 13 & bought your whole personality from 4 Pinterest boards of funny Whisper app screenshots and Ayesha Erotica remixes from the clock app' Yea no... I don't even use TikTok anymore and haven't since 2021..And i don't use pinterest either so nice try..

by Enesi; ; Report

And there's a difference between critisizing the system and being a weird person.For someone who's on the brink of homelessness, u r online WAYYY too much if that's what u think critisizing is

by Enesi; ; Report

I recommend learning to cook as well. I tried prawn-braised chicken again yesterday (only with prawn paste) & I kept underestimating how much sugar I put in, but it still tasted lush. I recommend putting in some yoghurt if you put too much paste in (it smells foul and tastes STRONG). It was still a fun lesson since I was trying more Cantonese/SEA influences in my cooking. I also recommend perhaps not being so online at the age of 10/9.

by caweyka; ; Report

can you lot stop insulting each other instead of arguing it's not helping anyone's case and i have to get all the notifications (as a fan of civil debates with people who can be calm i'm not gonna contribute to this any more)

by lucien zeal; ; Report

you can delete the comment if you want boss

by caweyka; ; Report

Don't you have some slurs to say

by caweyka; ; Report

Idk I'm not used to you saying coherent things

by caweyka; ; Report

Eh, called me a tranny under a blog post once. I almost didn't recognise you w/out the Obama pfp

by caweyka; ; Report

You asked if we met, so I said we did. Pretty much it.

by caweyka; ; Report

I'm going to touch you.

by caweyka; ; Report

Yeah, since you need a paternal figure that bad

by caweyka; ; Report

reading this entire reply section felt like i was on reddit lmao

by birby (autoplay); ; Report

in my personal opinion, i dont think anybody should "have to be meaner" and i think that we should be kind to not only those around us but to ourselves as well and be less mean and negative (in general). and i'd get that a trans man would be upset by what zeal described (although im not a trans man myself [although im still not cis, ftn transneutral to be exact] so i wouldnt exactly know) and i'd believe that experiences are different for each person and certain people take certain things differently

and although probably not relating to any of this, i would still like to add that i believe that activism should be based in love for the oppressed and not hate for the oppressors

by heartful lad; ; Report

^^^ this.

by birby (autoplay); ; Report