A little about the problems I'm currently having.✰

I hope no one I know sees this. Well I'm having so many problems that I don't know where to start, ummm one of the biggest and most confusing is that I'm currently with a partner and the truth is I feel a little uncomfortable with the relationship. , I feel bad, I don't know the difference between love and friendship, I think I like him, but now that I'm with him I feel like he's too intense, I like him the way he is, but sometimes he's SO intense, and when I say that It's intense, it's because it's really very intense, and it's hard for me to receive or give affection, it's hard for me A LOT, A LOT, because I'm not used to it, my ex. couple. It didn't happen like that so I'm a little traumatized lol. The bad thing is that I don't know how to give him the affection he needs, my partner is too intense and needs a lot of attention and affection, I understand it, but sometimes I'm busy or I'm not in the mood. He gives affection, he's sweet, but it's hard for me to give or receive affection and he doesn't understand me, it's like I only think about him, I always think about how he feels and I try to be better, but he doesn't. 't. He doesn't give a shit, he never listens to me, well maybe not. Sometimes I think it's too much, but he makes me feel bad, I don't want to tell him how I feel because if I do, maybe... I'll ruin everything and lose a friend. . , I don't know what to do, this is really very frustrating, I just want to shoot myself, but I can't, it's not that I don't have courage, but there are people who need me. I don't want to abandon them, so I continue, I love it a lot, but it's very intense, and I don't know what to do, I want all this to end, I hope that one day he will come and tell me "I don't like you anymore, we're separating" but at the same time I don't want to, AAAAA THIS IS VERY CONFUSING, I feel sorry for him, well, he had a previous partner who was not affectionate or very attentive to him (the same thing happened to me, but mine was a little more complicated) and I don't want to be the same like her, but it's hard for me to be the way he wants, BUT OF ALL THE PEOPLE THERE ARE, WHY DO YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE LIKE ME??!! I'm a terrible person, I don't know what to do, we're going to change schools soon, maybe. Maybe if we change schools all this will end and we will all be happy 💔 I WANT TO CRY

Well, I will continue telling you another time, I have a lot to do, sorry for the inconvenience, goodbye! 💗