My birthday

[DISCLAIMER: THIS IS A LONG ASS TEXT]

Oh god, i don't even know where to start. I still feel so sad, my head is just a thunderstorm right now. I cried so many times that i lost count, my eyes are burning bc of how much I've cried. Everything was alright, when i posted my last blog i started to feel better bc i went out with my mom to buy things for my birthday, we got balloons and all that stuff, i really felt so much better, but when we tried to decorate, everything was going wrong, i got so stressed out that all that i could do was cry. It already was a shitty day, so anything could make me feel worse, my mom got so mad and called me ungrateful bc "i didn't appreciate" what she bought for me. I felt really bad and so miserable that i locked myself in the bathroom just to bawl my eyes out, i didn't want to feel this way and now the only person that actually cares for me got mad at me for my attitude. I just thought we wouldn't make anything for my bday bc i felt too sad to even get out of my bed, my mom was crying too bc i didn't want to make nothing for my birthday and we were just mad at each other. Thank god my sister in law spoke with me, telling me that she understands how i feel and i shouldn't let my feelings ruin my birthday, so i just took a shower and got dressed to start decorating my cake, she also spoke with my mom and we started to get everything ready for my birthday, at this point it was already like 7pm. The cake was horrible, the frosting melted and it was just dripping everywhere, i tried to stay calm and to not give it much attention, so i said it was alright and it didn't matter. We were able make a better frosting and it started looking better, it turned out really pretty, not perfect but really pretty lol. I started putting on makeup and all that just to take photos, I already felt so much better, i was listening to music and just vibing while doing other things. We took some photos and i started to feel sad again bc it seemed like none of my brothers wanted to take photos with me, and everyone was exhausted and annoyed. NOW, what happened next really was my last straw, i was already very sensitive and i was really trying to stay composed, in my family we like to be very loud and cheerful when singing happy birthday, but my nephews were asleep so we couldn't make much noise. It was already 10pm and everyone was sleepy, everyone was in a rush to sing me happy birthday, that made me feel very sad bc it felt like no one wanted to be there and no one really cared about my birthday, i was so excited to blow out the candles, but when we started singing i couldn't hold back my tears, i just cried and cried while they were singing happy birthday, i could only hear my dad's voice singing, it almost felt like he was the only one singing. I looked around and my brothers were having fun and messing with each other while i was crying, i started to wonder why i feel this way if this is suposed to be my special day, why they were enjoying my birthday more than myself. My mother hugged me and i blew out the candles, my mind was empty and i didn't even make a wish, i went to my room to cry and my mom comforted me, then we went upstairs to spend some time together and now here i am, venting about how miserable i felt on my birthday. This was my worst birthday and i really hope next year will be better. 

Anyways, here's a pic of me with my birthday cake :)

Byee :']