YellowBlues's profile picture

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Category: Life

god hates me i bet

ugh before I broke my phone I was a degenerate(still am just not online) had a bf and loved him sm until he got tired of me honestly I'm fucked up all I really did was talk to people and let them use me and exploit myself so I could feel wanted and look at me now I'm just drained and I even struggle with irl relationships and my new bf I fucked up his like and I feel so bad I hate myself I'm not special I just masturbate in hope to feel good but I feel shitty because of my trauma and what I've done with people I just don't know I'm a freshman and have to make it through highschool so can graduate best I can do is make my family proud but then I don't know what to do after it sucks I´ve stopped masturbating because sometimes I do aggressively to hurt myself and so it could feel nice but then I bleed then I'm so fucked up it hurts I can´t go to a doctor I can´t tell my mom that I´d be disgusting I'm so gross sometimes I just want to go back and just be on the internet like normally but I'm not ready for that yet I´ll just relapse again


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Jonathan Ray

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God does not hate you, and we all make mistakes at times. We all make mistakes, and we will all be at fault at some point. It is wise to find purpose in the Lord rather than worldly things and the fleshes desires.

I have a hard time with it myself, and I am guilty of so much. But, I find comfort and forgiveness in Jesus. I get it though, I had horrible self esteem issues in high school, IT SUCKED.

But, in my junior year, I found that God was with me, and that He had been in my life the whole time. So, I gave my life to Jesus. I have faith that Jesus loves everyone and forgives us despite our rebellion.

I really hope you can find some solace in this, and in no way am I trying to push anything on you. I just want to offer something that has helped me find peace in my life.

I sincerely wish good for you and pray for God to have His hand over your life.


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I thank you for this and all I appreciate it but I personally have my doubts on god thanks for that tho

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